They try to do things at work to make us interact and get along and shit and they call them Team Building Activities. This isn't unique to my workplace. I'm sure that a lot of places do this. I bet that studies have proven that you will create a friendly and more productive work environment if the employees are in a positive mood and get to know each other better. So what. I don't care about shit like that. If I'm going to goof around at work I'm doing it my own way and on my own time. I don't like being at work. And not just this job. It's work in general. I've learned to put up with it because I have to pay bills and I understand that I'm never going to be rich enough to quit my job. So I just deal with it. I want to clock in, do my job then clock out. I hate working overtime even if they pay me time and a half because I can't fathom spending more than the bare minimum (40 hours a week) doing something that I hate to do. This is my true passion. Writing, working on the websites, creating entertainment like podcasts, movies and music. So why don't I do that full time instead of the shit I do now? Well the truth is I'm really not that good at it compared to the real talented people in the World. Would you pay me money to do this? Hell no you wouldn't. I can't even get people to read my shit for free, let alone toss me a couple of bucks to keep me endeavors going. This blog is free but everything else costs me money and I lose about $200 some dollars a year keeping my various projects going. I don't mind spending the money because it is spent doing something that I love, but it angers me that I have to suffer through something I hate to afford to do something I love. I wish there was a better way... OK. Enough of this shit, time to explain my picture.
At one of these Team Building events, we were paired up with a co-worker, given 10 minutes, a handful of straws, some string, scissors and tape and had to come up with something travel related (I work for a travel company). My teammate and I both didn't feel like doing anything so we complained about it for a few minutes. Then she just started putting straws together and I grouped some together so they looked like a palm tree. Then we decided to do a hotel in Hawaii and leave it at that. I started putting some straws together and it looked like a mountain, so I decided to make a volcano that was erupting which then led to the hotel being flattened by the sonic boom of the explosion and the ash cloud that followed. I have a real morbid imagination. If you've been following me at all over the last 2 1/2 years then you've most certainly noticed that I often speak of death rather candidly. In my explanation to the group I described what we had created and said that everyone died. If we had more straws and more than 10 minutes I would have made some dead bodies to lay on the ground by the hotel. I'm sure that someone has a problem with this but I don't care. We're all going to die someday. That is something every living thing on this planet has in common. So I don't understand why we are so scared to talk about it. It's going to happen whether you like it or not. I have chosen to embrace it and accept it. I am going to die someday.
It sucks when people die. I know that all too well. So I'm not trying to make light of it when I create an art project involving death. Yeah I guess I joke about it, and I know that those fictional straw people that I would have laid dead on the slops of the erupting volcano would have had families and friends who would miss them immensely. Imagine straw people in a big straw church and they are all bent over (cause they are bendy straws!) in sorrow as the casket of their straw families/friends are carried down the aisle and placed in a straw hearse while the straw musician plays a sad song on the straw baby grand piano. It's a real sad scene. But that straw volcano would have erupted, flattened the straw hotel and killed those straw people even if I didn't imagine it in my head and partially create it during a work exercise. We can't control death. It's going to happen. But I guess I don't have to be so morbid all the time, asking for the Rapture or the End of the World to kill me and do it now because I'm he-ere, but I can't help it.
If you are a faithful visitor to this blog then you will have no doubt seen that I record a podcast called The Drive to Stay Alive. I don't expect you to listen to it because the basic point is this - I'm in search of a reason to keep living. That's exactly why I don't do anything to better my life. When you have to question the point of living, you don't care about dying. Plain and simple. I don't care about being in shape, maintaining friendships, meeting a girl, starting a family, excelling in my career, changing the World, etc. etc. You know, all of the shit that you normies do. I'm different man. I used to think that was going to be my path in life as well. But then someone died. And when he died I died a little bit as well. And I die a little bit more every single day as the constant reminder sinks in that life is always going to suck. Chances are I'm going to live to be 100 just so I have to suffer through a long battle with these problems and it's going to take me an eternity to get my wish - that I can die too. Everyone dies. Even straw people. I'm hoping my next pickle won't be something so morbid. In fact, if I have it my way it will actually be a celebration of life. But that is another pickle in the full jar that will be shared with you tomorrow. That is unless everyone dies before then.
- pookon -
www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
No comments:
Post a Comment