
You are now looking at the final article of 2011's "25 Brewers in 25 Days" and it features none other than Brewers closer John Axford. After a week of teasing, I bet you never thought you'd see this shit. Well peep this article bitches! This is the grand daddy of them all. I've been hyping it up for a week and like me in bed, I know that it won't perform up to expectations. I can't believe that people have expectations of me. I'm a terrible lover, are you kidding me? Why just the other day I caught a peeping Tom booing me. But you didn't come here to read about me, you've done way too much of that in these past 25 days. Oh no, and since you've been patiently waiting, here he is, the Mustache himself, the Ax-man - I present to you Mr. John Axford!
John Axford is eerily similar to former Brewers closer Derrick Turnbow. And it's a little too eerie for comfort. I mean it. This shit will make you shiver more than when you read a Goosebumps book in the dark under your covers with a flashlight when you were 9 years old. Let's make a list of their similarities. Both are hard throwing righties with a fastball that hits the high 90's who have control problems. Both of them were toiling around in the minor leagues before the Brewers brought them on board. Both have a signature look - Axford with the mustache and Turnbow with the shaggy hair. Both broke into the big leagues in their late 20's. Both were huge fan favorites in their rookie years. And speaking of rookie years check this shit out -
Axford: 8-2 record, 2.48 ERA, 24 for 27 saves, 76 strikeouts and 27 walks.Turnbow: 7-1 record, 1.74 ERA, 39 for 43 saves, 64 strikeouts and 24 walks.
Haunting, isn't it? And I haven't even gotten to the spooky part yet - THEY EVEN WEAR THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER - 59!! What the hell Axford?!? Do you really want to turn out just like Turnbow? Make sure you consider that after his brilliant rookie season he slipped to a 4-9 record, 6.87 ERA and 24 of 32 saves in his 2nd season. After that he became a set up man then totally fell off the map. Last I heard Turnbow was trying to catch on with the Marlins in Spring of 2010 and was cut during Spring Training. Shortly thereafter he announced his retirement from baseball. Do you see the treacherous path that you are walking John? Of course all of this could change and right now he could take a different path than Turnbow did in his second season. I suppose when 2011 is all said and done I will evaluate this season and the Axford to Turnbow comparison will be revisited. Until then let's pray for the best and that the closer won't kill our team like it did in 2010.I hate to talk shit about Trevor Hoffman because he has had such a storied Hall of Fame worthy career and from what I read and hear about him, he is perhaps one of the nicest, hardworking and professional guys in baseball. But let's face facts - he just didn't have it in 2010. After he blew 5 out of his first 10 saves and his ERA skyrocketed to around a 15.00, something had to be done. It pained me to watch Hoffman crumble before my eyes as I watched every one of those blown saves with tears streaming down my face. The Brewers had just come off of a 9 game losing streak then lost 2 of the first 3 to the Minnesota Twins. I was there at Target Field in Minneapolis when Axford recorded his 1st save of 2010 and it was the beginning of one of the only bright spots of the 2010 season, the emergence of The Ax Man.
Not to dwell on Hoffman too long, but it's amazing that he was a closer for 18 seasons and racked up 601 career saves. That's mighty impressive considering how closers come and go in baseball these days. I've been working at Miller Park for 10 years now, and here is this list of closers that the Brewers have had since 2001 - Curtis Leskanic (old #00), Mike DeJean, the 2004 All-Star Dan Kolb, Derrick Turnbow, Francisco Cordero, Eric Gagne (the $10 million dollar man), Salomon Torres, Trevor Hoffman and now John Axford. That's 9 closers in 10 years. That's more turnaround than when I worked at The Mayfair Mall movie theater back when it was General Cinema. Just goes to show you that I'm old because that shit has been AMC for years now and that a closer isn't hard to come by. But I do hope that John Axford isn't like Derrick Turnbow or the multitude of other closers we've had in the last decade because I really like this guy. And I know that you like him too. How could you not love a mustache like that? If I could grow a mustache I would totally model it after his for the duration of the baseball season.I've ended these articles with a tease, so why should this be any different? I have a great idea for another series of articles called "10 in 10" that should be very enjoyable to both me and you. I plan on starting this in about a week, so stay tuned. I won't reveal exactly what I'm doing yet because I still need to work some things out in planning, but it should be an adventure for my personally and for you following along on this blog. Thanks again everyone, and have a nice day.
- pookon -www.pookon.comemail: pookondotcom@gmail.com