Pickle the Day: October 31st - I Got Nothing

For the past 30 days I've been taking pictures of things and talking about them. You've certainly noticed how the quality of my posts have definitely dropped off near the end. Well today I got nothing. Nothing to see here folks! Move along! There's nothing to see here! I had an idea of what to do on the last day of this experiment but I'm so burned out from life and my job and that I just couldn't do it. My brother James challenged me to set a goal by the end of the month. To make some kind of change in my life. To address some of the negative things that are affecting me and to do something about them. While I wasn't able to address that challenge by the end of the month, I do have something planned for November. You probably won't hear much about it on this blog or on Facebook though because it is a life challenge and involves me getting away from the computer and out of the house. I'll probably write one post about it so you know about it or maybe I won't. It might just be my secret. I don't know. I haven't figured out all of the logistics yet. But it's a step in the right direction and I'm hoping that it gets the ball rolling and I start dying to live instead of living to die. I need to find a reason to live and while that still might take a while to figure out, in the meantime I can begin my journey instead of sitting here. You're either moving forward, going backwards or standing still. That's something Jimbo "All Ears" McGinty taught me. Jimbo is wise man. I'm tired of standing still.

Sorry to be so vague and tease you but the post is called I Got Nothing. I can't give you something if I am promising nothing. That's false advertisement. People get sued over shit like that. Lives are ruined in one fell swoop. I don't have enough money to survive  a lawsuit and I'm clinging to what little I have in life. I can't afford to lose that. So you're just going to have to sit and wait if you care to know what is coming next in my life and in this blog. If you want to check out now, I don't blame you. You've probably got your own problems in life that require your attention. You don't have time to listen to someone who has a lot of things going for them bitch and moan about how much their life sucks. Look I understand that people have it worse than me and that from someone else's perspective my life is pretty amazing. You want it? Because I'm not happy in it. But this is my life. This is my one chance on Earth to do something amazing. I can't give my life away. I can't live someone else's. I need to change mine to what I want it to be. It all starts with a goal and a push. I'm working on both. The jar is empty. This is the last pickle that I'm going to share on here. October has been an interesting month. We've had a lot of highs and lows (mostly lows) but it has been an adventure. That's all I ever ask for. It was a lot of work but I did enjoy it. I think that I'm going to make this a regular segment on the blog with the one change being that it will happen only when I find a picture worth sharing with you. I'm going to force it like I did on probably 1/3 of the days. So if you also enjoyed this keep an eye out for more in the future and if you didn't, why are you even reading this? Take care my friends and godspeed to you. Good luck in your journey. Thanks for coming along for part of mine.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 30th - Uh! The Temptations!

It's no secret that I like to eat. One look at me tells that story. Let's just say I'll never be confused for a starving orphan child. But I will still ask, "Please Sir, can I have some more?" Greedy bastard. You don't need seconds. What you need is to stop eating. My Mom had a bowl full of candy at her house in case Trick-O-Treaters came by. No one wants to be that house who doesn't have shit. It gives you a bad rep in the neighborhood. I took a handful of candy on Sunday, put it in my freezer and now I'm trying to see how long I can go without eating it. Sounds like an easy challenge, right? Not for someone who thinks that food goes bad if you keep it for more than a few hours. I'm a compulsive eater who keeps eating when they are not hungry. I'm probably making things up/making excuses but I think that I have an addictive personality. I always need to be doing something but that thing is rarely something positive. When I'm bored, I eat or drink. Instead of doing that I should be out walking around or exercising in some way but I'm too lazy. I need a complete lifestyle change because I hate the person that I am today. There's a good reason why I try not to leave the house. I'd rather be alone in my misery instead of bothering other people with it. 

And it all starts from within. I need to change my mind before I change my habits or my body. I'm starting to think that I might need help from an outside source because I'm not making any progress on my own. You've been following along over the last few weeks here for Pickle the Day. How many of these posts have been something positive? Even the ones that started out as a lighthearted tale quickly dove into the depths of sadness and negativity. I need to figure out a lot of things in my life. I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for 10 damn years, Miguel. Ain't I been sayin' it? You don't have to read my mind to know we need to get as far away from here as we can. I picked the wrong time to do this little experiment. And it looks like you picked the wrong goddamn rec room! Fucking Graboids. You killed 3 Ninja's Grandpa. For that I will never forgive you. What a sweet and kind old man. How dare you. Wait... what? You were just hungry and he was the closest available food source? I know exactly what that is like. My apologies Graboid. I do forgive you. Me and you are one and the same. Just misunderstood creatures searching for some food. We can't help ourselves.

I'm no Graboid, but if I don't do something about it soon I'll be as big as one of them. What if Kevin Bacon lifted half of me up in the air and yelled out, "I think I found the ass end!" How embarrassing would that be? That's a 1st degree of Kevin Bacon. Yeah, a 1st degree burn. I don't need or want that to happen. Who wants to be humiliated by Kevin Bacon? I'm sure once you could start laughing about it (after many years of therapy) it would make a great story at Christmas Parties. I don't know anyone who has been picked up and jiggled by Kevin Bacon, so if that happens I will corner the market on that experience. Or at least in my social circle. I'm going to try and avoid that if possible. I've already had enough heartbreak and disappointment in my life. I don't need Kevin Bacon to add to it. That would be completely unnecessary. While my food consumption, lack of exercise and overall attitude about my life is a concern, I was really reaching for a pickle today and didn't have a good one. I'm definitely out of ideas and I'm thankful that I only have to come up with 1 more pickle to share. The jar is nearly empty my friends. Only one remains. I will be sharing that with you tomorrow as the month of October comes to and end. As for those candy bars? They're all mine. I'm not sharing shit! I haven't eaten them yet but pretty soon the temptation will get to me. It always does. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 29th - Derail Your Own Train

I'm going to warn you right away that this post is about death. I know that subject matter bothers a lot of people and the rest of you are sick and tired of me being so morose all the time. Deal with it. You can leave now and I won't be upset. The clicker already got your visit as a "view" on my page. But I'm still asking you to hear me out. Things aren't always what they appear folks. Every day on the way to work I pass over some railroad tracks. As I'm crossing over, I look down the tracks for a second and stare off into the distance. This doesn't last long because I soon continue along my way. Looking on down the line makes me think of death because of the movie Big Fish. I love this movie and I think it is Tim Burton's finest movie because it is completely different than anything else he has directed. It doesn't have the signature Tim Burton weird style that he seems obsessed with overdoing. But the best part about it is the story. I won't spoil it if you haven't seen the movie but the basic plot is this - as a father lays dying, he retells his incredible life story filled with tall tales that his son is sick of hearing and doesn't believe. The son wants to figure out the truth behind his father's stories to separate the man from the myth. He wants to know who is father really was because he feels lied to for his entire life. Through a series of flashbacks we learn that there's a little bit of truth to every story and that life is really just one big adventure. The reason that I bring that up is that as a boy, Edward Bloom (the father) visits a witch and sees when and how he is going to die. While he is always painted as a brave and adventuresome person, this knowledge allows him to take risks and face danger head-on because he knows he will not die until he is an old man. That makes me think - if given the choice, would I want to know how and when I will die?

It's an interesting conundrum because it could either take all of the fun out of life or give you the chance to live life to the fullest. If I found out I would die alone at 100 that doesn't sound like a future worth looking forward to. But if I found out that I was going to die by 40, would that scare me or inspire me? I'm not sure. I'd probably give up. Say fuck it, quit my job and destroy what remains of my life. What's the point in trying now if I knew I only had 8 years left to reap the rewards. There would be no sense trying to start a family or creating something grand or beautiful because I wouldn't be around to enjoy it. I would probably sink into a dark depression and waste my time on this planet. I wish I could say that I would finally live life but I know how I am. Most people would get to work crossing things off of their bucket lists and quit putting things off for tomorrow, because one of these days there won't be a tomorrow. I would be worse than I am right now. I would be a walking disaster. I would succumb to the evils that torment me every day. Things that tell me to lie, cheat, steal, drink, gamble and be a total asshole. What's the point of living if you have nothing to live for? 

Alright so I went there. Sorry. But the other inspiration behind this article is if you could choose how you die, would you want to? If you haven't already figured it out then you most certainly know by now that I'm a little different than everyone else. If I was allowed to choose my method of death I want to die derailing a train. You know, like when a train goes too fast and falls off the tracks which usually results in a big collision and explosion? That's how I want to go. But I have a couple of rules about it. 1. - I am the only person who dies from the derailing. It's not fair to them if I take some innocent people or animals out with me. I need to do this in an unpopulated area where the impact to the Earth will be minimal. That leads to my second rule. 2. - I do what to die in a fiery and jaw dropping crash. It needs to be big and grand. But I also don't want to cause long-term harm to the environment due to a chemical spill or burn down an entire forest with the blaze. So it needs to be explosive yet contained. Kind of like fireworks. My next rule is 3. - People need to be around to see it. I want video of me in the train (an old school train like in Back to the Future III) wearing a conductor's hat pulling the chord with the train horn signalling my impending death. Then I want the camera to pull back so you can see the entire scene and once I derail, it gets captured in multiple angles in stunning high definition display. I don't want it to be so graphic so that you can see me die but I do want you see the train derailment in all the glorious details - wide shot, close up, slow motion, 7 angles, instant replay, from the ground and from the sky. I want to be a spectacle in death as I was in life. Besides, how many times have you see a live train derailment? Plus it would make for an interesting story if I managed to get into Heaven. How'd you die? Guy #1: old age, in my sleep. Guy #2: heart attack at 55. Should have taken better care of myself. Girl #1: car crash. I was texting and driving. Girl #2: complications during childbirth. I never even got to see my baby. Kid #1: hit by a drunk driver. Kid #2: cancer. Me: derailed my own train. All of them had the same result but mine is the only story that isn't sad. Death shouldn't be sad. You should be able to go out on your own terms when you are ready. And when I'm ready I want to derail a train.

It's no secret that I want to die by train derailment. I don't know why I talk about it so much but many of my friends are aware of my final plan. What's wrong with me? Sometimes I think that I'm a little messed up in the head but then a part of me starts to think - does anyone else do this kind of thing? Do you think about death in weird ways? Do you plan out your demise in such unique fashion? I doubt it. If there ever was a question that I'm unique, this is yet another resounding YES from the amassed crowd. I don't know why I'm so different but I like it. What's the point in being like everyone else? Speaking of, here's the part where I have to assure you that I'm O.K. and you don't have to elevate the death watch to Orange or some shit. I'm not going anywhere, or at least I don't know that I am. I don't plan on dying any time soon but that is the mystery surrounding it. We never quite know when or how we die and I'm sure that when I do, it probably won't be by train derailment. But it doesn't hurt to dream, right?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 28th - People Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend

People, let me tell you about my best friend. I'm sure that I've mentioned Major Korben Dallas on this blog before or on Facebook, but just in case you are new to these parts, here he is. And yes, he is a cat. No offense to my human best friends, but I spend more time with my cat then any other living thing on this planet. Despite working 40+ hours a week (more in the summer) and trying to to have a life, I spend most of my free time at home. This is by choice mostly. I would just rather dress how I want (pants optional), kick back and do whatever I feel like doing. Most of the time that's working on various projects that are internet based. While this is mostly because this is my true passion, it is also because the majority of my friends are busy with their own lives due to being in a relationship, having children or being too cool to sit at home with their cat on a Friday night. I'm not complaining because I had the opportunity to go out and do something on both Friday and Saturday night this weekend and I turned them both down. Instead Korben and I watched Pacific Rim on bluray on Friday and Game 3 of the World Series on Saturday. He's my best friend and he doesn't leave the house, so if I want to hang out with him I can't leave the house either.

I have a history of loving my pets too much. I had Coach Gordon Bombay from 2006 - 2012 and he was my BFF. Unfortunately he didn't last forever and I had to say goodbye when he was only 8 years old. I still think about him all the time. He was the greatest cat ever. But don't tell that to Korben Dallas. I've had him for one year now and it took a while for us to bond. He used to bite me almost every day when I would try and pet him and I would tell everyone that my cat is an asshole. But he's my asshole. He has problems because he's from the streets. He runs around the apartment like he's trying to save the World or something and makes so much noise all the time. He cries like a little baby when he's hungry (he's about 3 years old) and stares at me when he's not sleeping. I have hundreds of pictures already (yeah I'm that guy) but the "photobomb" one here is probably my favorite. We hang out just like two dudes would only I call him sweetheart. I guess some dudes call each other sweetheart. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I talk to him like he can understand me and able to respond back. Despite trying to teach him the English language so he can use his words instead of his meows, it's still a one-way conversation. But it's the best conversation that I have all day because even if he judges me, he's doing it silently. Plus I can flip him off and there's not a damn thing he can do about it except stare back. Who flips off an animal? I suppose that I do. But I do it out of love. He's my best friend.

I have a lot of friends. And an awesome family. I've been lucky in life to get to know a lot of people and have those people accept me for who I am. I don't hang out with all of them nearly as much as I should but that's because I'm at home with my cat. So if you have a problem with that stop on over at my house. I promise I will be there. I bet a lot of you out there know exactly how I feel. A lot of people have dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets, goldfish and helper monkeys living at their homes that they have become attached to. I'm sure there are even some of you out there who are in way deeper than I am. I don't litter Facebook with his pictures and I certainly don't dress him up in silly little outfits. I'm weird and everything, but there's a line that I don't cross. Weirdos. But not that there's anything wrong with that. I could go on and on about my friendship with my cat but some things are better left unsaid. The most important thing is that he is always here for me when I get home. Most days I don't anyone else in the World. But he loves me, he needs me for survival and he misses me when I am gone. I don't really get that feeling from anyone else in my life. Every one else will be just fine if I disappear for a few days. Their lives will go one. His will stand still. I have a responsibility. In some small weird way, I have a reason to live. If I'm gone then he will be too. That's why I can't go anywhere. Korben Dallas is too important to me. That little bastard is my best friend. And he's also my pickle today. There's only a few of them left and the jar is looking rather empty. I'm reaching towards the bottom and coming up empty. Who knows what will be here tomorrow.

- pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 27th - Check Out This Bush!

The title of this article pretty much says it all. I've been waiting all month for a picture and a title that stands alone (like the cheese!) and doesn't need any explanation. The last time I stumbled upon something this good was waaaaay back on October 1st with Caution Hole. I didn't feel the need to say anything about that because hole is just funny on its' own, but it was my first entry (heh heh, entry) and I had to describe what I was doing this month with Pickle the Day. Yesterday I was doing some yardwork over at my Mom's house and I had to dig up this dead bush in the garden. Since it was wood I decided that I should burn it because wood burns. Look, I can put two and two together folks. I may not be that smart, but when it comes to burning things I'm a god damned genius. I can't give myself too much credit though because I think everyone knows that. I'm a natural pyro. I will burn just about anything I get my ash covered hands on. I have requests out to most everyone that I know if I can burn their things when they are done using them. For example - my Mom's neighbor's fence. It's falling apart and every year they talk about replacing it. And when they do, I offered to take it off of their hands so I can have a fence burning party. My Dad has a giant broken tree limb that I offered to take piece by piece as soon as the tree guy cuts it down. I will have enough wood to last the summer with that thing. I scour the alleys for things to burn and I often find some unusual things that will light up the backyard. If it will burn, I will throw it into the fire.

That's pretty much it. Did you see that bush? Gross, right? Good thing that I got rid of it because it was starting to upset the delicate nature of things. Plus I had a bunch of other things to burn so it gave me something to do with my afternoon. I had a beautiful fall day, some whiskey and a fire. Is there really anything else better in life? Those three things just go hand in hand. If I had it my way I would do that every day but I would probably use up all of the wood on the planet and life would suck because all of the trees would be gone. Have you ever read The Lorax? Things didn't work out so well in that book. Since my knowledge of all things is either based on movies or things I learned when I was a kid, I know that you can't just burn things all day, every day. There are consequences to those actions so like every other aspect of life, moderation is the key. So while you won't find me having a fire every day, I promise I will I have one every time the opportunity presents itself. One thing I will have every day (albeit only for the last few remaining days in October) is a new pickle to share with you. There's a whole jar of them out there. Well at least unless that jar is made out of wood. In that case I have probably already burned it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 26th - If Jesus was a Carpenter, God Must Have Been a Painter

Yesterday I talked about how I don't understand art. Well that's not entirely true. I should clarify - I don't understand some forms of art. I don't think that I am meant to. I don't understand how God works either. That I for sure know I am not meant to. God works in mysterious ways. We've all heard that so many times that it's getting old by now. But it's true. It really is. Since I complained about the shitty art hanging in my office building God gave me a reminder that there are all sorts of art forms in this World and they mean different things to different people. Case in point - I love sunsets. Say what you want about it but I don't care. I'm that guy. I don't don't cry or anything and write sonnets about them. I'm not that emotionally unstable when the sun goes away for the night. But I could sit and stare out to the West and watch the sun slowly fall beyond the horizon line. What follows (if you're lucky) is a grand display of colors and shading that only God could paint. Sure, I've seen artists try and capture sunsets through paintings and they're all nice and everything, but nothing can be as good as or beat the real thing. Photographs come close, but they still can't capture the scope and the feeling of being there and experiencing it for yourself. I'd give anything to be at the Ocean right about now. Sunsets are cool and everything, but the addition of a large body of water adds to the experience. We have Lake Michigan here in Wisconsin but it is to the East. The sun sets in the West. You do the math.

This one was easy. I just walked outside and found the pickle that I was looking for. For the most part I don't plan these in advance. That was one rule. Sometimes I have an idea but then it completely changes if something else happens. I'll admit that I was looking for something like this. Yesterday I said, "Tomorrow I will try to find some art. I will try to find some beauty in a place where others might see nothing. Or maybe I won't. That is the greatest thing about this adventure. I have no idea what I will see tomorrow and what pickle I will share with you." A lot of people see sunsets. Duh. They're kind of obvious and right there in front of your face every single night. But people see them differently and take something different away from them. Or they see it and move on. That's what is so wonderful about humans. We're all the same yet we are so incredibly different. It truly is an insane idea if you think about it. Two people can look at the same thing and each have a unique take on it. I don't know how this works but I love it.

I don't know how the World was created, how I have managed to stay alive for 32 years, how Earth is supposedly the only planet that can sustain life, how there are forms of life that live on this planet that we haven't even discovered yet, how clouds can look like certain objects, why each sunset is different, how man has figured out how to get to outer space, how Horton was able to hear a Who, how in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE did John Mason (Sean Connery) manage to get out of his cell because in our current situation it could prove to be useful information MAYBE, how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop or a million other things that I don't know how they happen or work. That is what is so amazing about life. There is beauty everywhere even if we don't see it at the time. Today's pickle was right in front of my face but I don't know what tomorrow will bring. What I do know is that somewhere there is a jar with a couple of pickles left in it (we're running out of days in October) that are waiting to be shared. Come back tomorrow to see another one. Just make sure that you don't cry at the sunset in the meantime. Or do whatever you want. I won't judge you.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 25th - Some People Call it Art. It's Crap!!

I'm probably going to piss off a lot of people with this post. I have friends who are artists and I stand behind what they do. I will always support someone who creates something and chases their dreams no matter what the odds or society tells you what to do. I just don't get art. Like the painted and sculpted and physical art. The kind that you see hung on walls in museums and dentist's offices. I consider myself an artist but I paint with my words. I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who don't get what I do. I don't blame them. Most of the time I don't get what I do. But at least I can understand it. Every day at work I pass by these paintings on the wall and shake my head. They look like something a 3rd grader drew. I probably brought some of these home when I was a kid. My Mom probably looked at the scribbles and mismatched colors, said "Well that's nice!" and hung it on the fridge for a few days before throwing it away. 

I'll give you this - there are some pretty nice and vibrant colors in these paintings and they certainly do catch the eye. In a way they spruce up the otherwise bland office building that I work in. I guess that is the point after all. But I still don't get it and why these people are able to make money off of something that seems like anyone could do. These artists who made these probably have more money than I do. Of course that's not hard to do because a lot of people have more money than I do. I don't get paid a single American penny to do any of this crap that I call art, so if that painter sold one of his works for even a few dollars, they are already more successful than I am. So maybe that's why I don't get it. They might not be able to make a living off of it but at least they receive some sort of monetary compensation for their time and effort. I just miss out on sleep, interaction with females and bonding with what little friends I have left that put up with my bullshit. I guess I'm just jealous of artists for being able to do something that I can't. Maybe that's why I don't get it because I've never been able to create something like that myself. Sometimes you have to be able to see before you believe. Or maybe it's all just crap. 

The whole point of living is to learn, try new things and to gain a better understanding of the World around you. I don't know if I have done any of those things yet. But I suppose I should. And I need to stop dismissing things that I don't understand. Just because it is different than what I am used to doesn't make it crap. I'm not very accepting of foreign things. I spend the majority of my life inside of my little bubble and I forget that there is a grand World out there filled with wonderful things to be discovered. Every now and then I venture outside of the familiar but I always return back to the comfort of my home at the end of the day. I don't understand the unknown because I chose not to. You call it art. I need to call it art as well. If I don't learn to see things as others do, I am not living in harmony with the World. I will always be an opposing force that is causing conflict. I will be part of the problem instead of being part of the solution. This is no way to live. I've been doing it wrong this whole time. Tomorrow I will try to find some art. I will try to find some beauty in a place where others might see nothing. Or maybe I won't. That is the greatest thing about this adventure. I have no idea what I will see tomorrow and what pickle I will share with you. All that I know is that there is a jar of them sitting around somewhere and all I have to do is open up my eyes to find them. And when I do, I am sure to tell you exactly what I think about them.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 24th - Be A Guitar Hero

My family is very talented when it comes to music. If Jenny and I put our skills to good use and practiced more often, we could really do something great in this world. Timmy had the talent and the drive. He was my guitar hero. But even though Jenny and I know how to play real guitar, we'll never be as good in real life as we are on the video game Guitar Hero. Jenny and I had been talking about playing this game again for the last couple of weeks, and when Brandon also expressed interest (along with the assumption that he was better than us at the game) we set up a night to play. Since I only used my Playstation 2 once in the last year (the experiment gone wrong episode of The Drive to Stay Alive called Drunk Driving in Vice City) and haven't played Guitar Hero for like 3 years, I was anxious to bust out this gem and relive some old memories. We played the shit out of this game from when I was first introduced to the game at Jason and Guppy's to late night jam sessions with Joey Kanz. I've played every version of the game and rocked just about every track. This game will always hold a place in my heart and I intend to hold on to it and play it in front of my kids (if I ever have kids) and embarrass them with how lame video games used to be.

We played a lot of Guitar Hero back in the day. And I mean a lot. Probably more than anyone should have played. In hindsight we should have done something more constructive with our lives, but it was a hell of a lot of fun at the time. One of the things that always impressed me was how bad Timmy was at the game Guitar Hero. Why did that impress me? Because a real musician should not excel at a video game version of the game. They shouldn't waste their time pushing colored buttons when the game instructs them to do so. They don't see the songs like that. They feel them in their hearts. Since he was so bad at the game he would sit in the back of the room and play along with the song on a real guitar. Often he would strum the chords not because he knew the song, but because he was able to pick it up by ear. Having that kind of skill for recognition astounds me. I can't memorize the chords or words to a song if I've played it 100 times. He could pick it up in less than a minute. While we were smashing buttons he was picking strings, playing his own solo perfectly to the digital sound emitting from the speakers. I would put on a show while playing the game. Putting the guitar behind my head, behind my back or even turning my entire body away from the TV because I knew the button pattern by heart. But the real show was Timmy who could do it in real life. I'd give anything to have that kind of talent for music.

But until I hone my skills on the 7th instrument (piano, trumpet, saxophone, french horn, trombone, tuba and guitar) that I learned to play, I will have to settle for being a video game Guitar Hero. It's not all bad though. Jenny fancies herself a pro at this game, and she is pretty damn good too. The only player she can't beat is Joey Kanz. That drives her crazy. She unleashes her wrath on anyone who dares to challenge her, and there were fighting words thrown around on Wednesday night when we played Guitar Hero III. At one point she was destroying Brandon by so much that she offered to give him a chance by playing behind her head. He still didn't stand a chance as she beat him mercilessly while showing off at the same time. I loved every minute of it. My sister is tough and she doesn't take shit from anyone. I didn't even bother playing her one-on-one. There are some battles that are not worth fighting. But one battle that I should be engaged in is the one against my own self-doubt. I don't think I will ever be good at guitar so I don't practice enough. I have the natural ability. I have my parents to thank for that. I promised Timmy that I would be a Guitar Hero. I'm not there yet. But I will be. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying. There are many pickles in this jar, and I intend to share another one with you again tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I certainly don't. And I'm playing lead guitar in this band.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 23rd - Shall We Have A Sitdown?

When Jenny, Timmy and I all worked at the UWM Union, Shaun of the Dead was a big movie for us. We used to go sledding in the Winter and then watch it with a couple cups of hot cocoa. Shaun and Ed are British, so naturally they talk a little different that we do. We copied them because we loved the movie so much. Instead of asking me to go on break, Timmy would say, "Shall we have a sitdown?" and I always would, even if I already had a sitdown. That's where the title and inspiration of today's pickle comes from. I asked my buddy and co-worker Mike Wilhelm to have a sitdown on Tuesday night. Actually I asked him more than 2 months ago but we had to keep canceling and rescheduling for various reasons. We try to have a sitdown every month so we can talk candidly about life, work, sports and everything else that doesn't matter as much. We sit in adjoining cubicles and can talk over the wall but have to maintain a certain professionalism with our topics and word choices. Plus we have to be sober. That's why we meet after work at a bar where none of that matters and we can be free to say whatever the hell we want without being sent to HR. 

Everyone needs an opportunity to vent/bitch and someone to listen. Whether you care to admit it or not, we all do it. Some people talk to therapists while some air out all their complaints to Facebook. We all just want to be heard because we want to feel like we matter. I say shit all the time that people don't read this but they do. People actually care. And I love it. I don't say shit on here intentionally to get people concerned about my well being. That's bullshit. I wouldn't manipulate people like that. I simply just say what is on my mind, be it good or bad. Sometimes I have a friend on the other side of the bar table and we're trading stories in between sips of tall boy PBRs and Old Styles. Sometimes it's a never ending text message conversation where 3 conversations are happening at the same time. Sometimes I might randomly stop by your house on the way home from work. But most of the time I just put my thoughts on the blog as my way of getting it out my head. If I don't get my thoughts and feelings out they just kind of sit there and drive me crazy. I used to bottle up my feelings and shit and it made me a ticking time bomb. This blog has been in operation since 2005 and has given me the chance to speak when there isn't anyone around to listen. It's doesn't always solve the problem, but at least it helps. Today's pickle was someone who helped, and there is a full jar of new pickles that do various things just waiting to be shared tomorrow and every day in the month of October.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 22nd - Hot Tub'n It

I've been at my current apartment for about 13 months now, which makes this one of the longest times I've spent at one place. Ever since I moved out of my parent's house in my Freshman year of college, I've bounced around from place to place, picking up and dropping different (and sometimes the same) roommates, moved back home and now live by myself. Why does this matter? Because it ties into today's Pickle the Day. If I ever stay in one place long enough to call it a home (and if I own instead of rent) my one big expenditure is going to be a hot tub. I love hot tubs. But mostly I love being in the water. We'll get to that more in a minute. My Aunt Linda is moving to Phoenix, so my Dad (her brother) got her hot tub. He got it working this weekend and on Monday night I found myself drawn to its' powers. There's nothing like a relaxing soak after a long and wild weekend. I needed a place to chill out for a few minutes and ease my weary body. I'm not used to doing things so I may have pushed myself a little too far. Yeah, right. Like I ever overexert myself. But even so, the hot tub felt good. Damn good. Especially because the cold hand of Winter just slapped me right in the face.

But I will never let anything stop me from swimming or going in the water. In there I feel free and light as a falling leaf. I feel like a normal person. I'm naturally buoyant in the water so I can float and move around with ease. If I was ever lost at sea I could probably survive long enough to be rescued. Well that is unless a couple of sharks decided to call me lunch. That's why I will never swim in the Ocean. Screw that. Let someone else be the main course at the shark buffet. I can imagine the weightlessness of space to be the same thing but after seeing the movie Gravity, I've decided never to go to Space. Yeah, because I've had so many opportunities to go to Space and I had to turn them all down. Too much can wrong up there and when it does, you're shit out of luck. At least in a pool or hot tub I can try to swim to the edge or have someone toss me one of those life savers. Or what if they pulled me in with that giant hook like the stage manager yanking in a performer during an awful routine. Either way I'd rather be in the water than in Space. Just so you know. There wasn't much going on today but that was just alright with me. Like Jesus. I'm ok with a few of these pickles being short and sweet. I've gotten a bit dark and depressing at times so it's nice to keep it light. But that's the beauty of this exercise. When I reach into the jar, I never know what kind of pickle I am going to pull out. But all I know is that there is a full jar of them just waiting to be shared. Well that's not all I know. What a wasted life that would be if that was all that I combed out of it.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 21st - Do Cannonballs Yell Human Being?

I once saw a cell from the Far Side comics by Gary Larsen that sticks with me to this day. Well, a lot of them still make me laugh because in one cell block there is a fully contained joke. It's pure genius. But the one that relates to today's pickle is a cannonball jumping into a body of water yelling "HUMAN BEING!!!" That's fantastic. I love doing cannonballs into the pool. Because of  my size I'm able to displace a lot of water and make a spectacle of myself, which is what I do on a daily basis. My brother James was in town for a few hours because he travels for business. This week he is going to be working in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin at the Leinenkugal's Brewery. At the last minute his flight was changed from Minneapolis to Milwaukee and we were able to get together and watch the Green Bay Packers game. Since I picked him up from the airport I had to take him to his hotel. While some people might be like oh that was nice and thinking that I did him a favor, in reality I knew what was in it for me as well - hotels have pools. And despite me never wanting to take my shirt off in public, I love to go swimming. It's one of my favorite things to do. And I just need to state for the record once again that I also love to do cannonballs. It's silly shit like this that makes me feel like being a kid again. What 32-year-old man does cannonballs in a hotel pool? This guy. 

That's all the time I've got for today. I had a full weekend filled with plenty of activities and I simply don't have any more time to expound on this topic. But what else is there to say that the picture doesn't already do? I hope I never grow out of this. Seeing as how I'm in my early 30's and still goofing around like I'm 6, I don't see that ever happening. Where's the fun in growing up and being all serious and sour-faced? Lighten up guy. Goof off for a bit and not worry about what other people think. People are too rigid and conform to societal norms when they should be out having fun. If having fun for you is wearing a 3-piece suit and discussing the ebbs and flows of the Dow Jones chart and sharing your portfolio over a fancy lunch with some clients, then have at it. Not me. I will be coloring with crayons (outside of the lines), making faces in the mirror, sniffing smelly markers, playing with my food, embarrassing my mother in public, rolling down grassy hills, getting ice cream headaches on purpose, spinning around on bar stools until I'm so dizzy that I fall over, doing cannonballs into a hotel pool and whatever else the kid inside me tells me to do. Life is tough and we need to find a way to escape from all of troubles that bring us down. You know what I do. Who knows what pickle the World is going to throw at me tomorrow, but I always promise to share it with you here on the blog. There's a full jar of them out there just waiting to be shared. So I'm going to dress up like an explorer, grab my trusty map and compass and see if X really does mark the spot.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 20th - Get Your Head Back Into the Clouds

We need more imagination in this World. We need more fantasy. We need dreams. We need childlike wonder. We need to get our heads back into the clouds. I'm a dreamer. I always have been. But I have a real problem with making those dreams a reality. There is this creativity brewing in my mind that needs to be realized and unleashed or else it festers inside of me and slowly drives me crazy. I'm an artist. And a writer. That is who I am. I have an insatiable need to create something out of nothing. I will never stop. Sometimes I can't sleep because the ideas are racing through my head and preventing me from shutting down and being at rest. It's a gift and a curse. When it is realized and it becomes something so beautiful that I often sit back and wonder how I was able to create something out of nothing. I often move myself to tears or insane bouts of laughter. I will not apologize for being my biggest fan. If I don't love my work, then no one will. Keeping my head in the clouds is what keeps me believing in the truth that there is a purpose to life. I can bring something unique and incredible to this World; something that has never been seen before. We all want to be different. We all want to stand out in the crowd. We all want to leave a mark on this World; to be remembered. All of this starts with an idea.

But we are always told at some point in our lives to get our heads out of the clouds. To be realistic. To stop chasing whimsies. To grow up and stop dreaming. Well I'll tell you something. I'm grown up. I have a real job. I pay rent, bills, take care of another life (albeit a cat), successfully balance relationships with friends and family, am somewhat responsible and I take care of business. You want to know what else I do? I dream. I create. I live in another World that is entirely within my own imagination. I revel in the glory of another life separate from the one that exists in the reality that you are familiar with. I can cross multiple planes of existence and operate in the 13th Dimension. Sometimes I don't know what is real and what is make believe. I forgo sleep so that I can live within a trans-world that blurs the lines of reality. My head is so far up into the clouds that I sometimes forget that my body is safely back on Earth. And I love it. 

The inside of my head is the most incredible place of all. It is a World without boundaries and there is no one to tell me that I can't do something. Nobody tells me that I'm not good enough. Nobody laughs at my ideas or shoots me down. I am standing on the top of the mountain and looking down at the incredible surroundings that only exist because I allowed myself to create them. I did it. I made this World. A melodic sound fills the air and the World is layered in harmonies that compliment each other. The transitions meld together in a fluidity that mimics a babbling brook. I close my eyes and time stands still. There are no troubles. There are no worries. In here I am at peace. No one can take this away from me. As long as I have this place in my head, nothing else really matters. But sometimes I lose my way and fall from the clouds. It is in these moments that I have to remember how much I love to be in a place where nothing matters. Up there, there is no sadness, no hate, no loss, no sense of loneliness and no fear. It is in the clouds where imagination soars and the possibilities are endless. You choose your own adventure. You limit yourself or you break through those walls. You can be the creator. You can make the World. You can be whoever and whatever you want to be. In here life is perfect.

I could stare at the clouds for hours. Life moves by so fast. How often do you just stop and do nothing? Lie on your back in a grassy meadow and watch the clouds roll through the sky? I'm guessing that it doesn't happen that often. If you aren't allowing yourself to live inside of the World created by your imagination then you truly aren't living. Life isn't reality. It's not a physical thing that you can touch or feel. It is an all encompassing World of make believe and real life twisted together in one giant creation. It is a special thing and it is what you make it to be. Every day I come on here and say such amazing things that could help me out in my own life. But I don't listen to them. I want to keep my head in the clouds. But there is something that is preventing me from living my dreams instead of just imagining them. And therein lies the million dollar question - how can I take my own advice? It seems so simple but impossible at the same time. As soon as I figure it out I will be on my way to achieving the life that I always dreamed of. Only this time it would be real. I don't know if that is ever go to happen, but it doesn't hurt to dream right? My head is still in the clouds. Maybe I'll find another pickle up there to share with you. Who knows. But I do know that I have a full jar of them just waiting to be shared with you. Let your imagination soar to the endless possibility of what could be. You just might find that you like what you find there.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 19th - And They Lived Happily Ever After

It's not every day that you get to bear witness to something that restores your faith in the human race and the continuation of life overall. Just one day after going on and on about how everyone is going to die, I am reminded that everyone is also going to live. We are given a finite time to be alive and the clock has been ticking since we were first created in the womb. Some people sadly never make it past that stage. On Sunday October 7th, I flew a kite at a remembrance for people who had babies die during pregnancy or shortly after birth. So many people die seemingly young and don't get a chance to witness all of the beautiful moments that you and I have been privileged to be a part of, like the marriage of two amazing people who truly love each other. The point is, we really don't know how much time we have in this life because the number on the clock is never revealed to us until the very end. With that in mind we should always make the most of what little time we have left and chose to spend those moments in the best way possible. Obviously I'm one of those glass is half empty kind of people and don't believe in things like happiness, falling in love and all of that mumbo jumbo. But good for people who do. I wish it was that easy for me. I have all of the information gathered to solve all of my problems but I can't apply them properly. I don't know what I am going to do about that, but I'm sick of talking about me today. This isn't my day. This day belongs to Joe and Jessica Kanzleiter, or Kanzy Pants and Jessie Pants as I have come to call these two wonderful people. Their story is just beginning (officially) and I can already see the ending - And They Lived Happily Ever After.

I've known Joe for close to 10 years now or something. I've lost track because I feel like I've known him for my entire life. He went to Wauwatosa East with my brother Timmy and they worked together at Little Caesar's in the Village, although we wouldn't become friends until he started college at UWM. I'm not going to get into great detail about all of the things we've done since then but here at the highlights: we both worked at the Union and when he was at Burger King he made the most delicious item not on the menu - the Kanz Sandwich. I repaid the favor with a Sunrise Melt in the Terrace. We lived together (along with Paul) above Vitucci's and also on Farwell just off of Brady. During those years we had some of the best times I can and can't remember. He is the greatest beer pong player I've ever known and I still can't beat him 1 on 1. That's why I usually team up with him. We played together for 3 or 4 seasons in the CHBPL and Years 3, 4 and 5 of the World Series of Beer Pong in Las Vegas. With him I won my only CHBPL Championship which cemented my place in CHBPL Hall of Fame. We share a love of movies and especially the Kevin Smith films. We love beer and brewery tours and he has been a big part of the Trifecta of Brewery Tours that we do every fall. He's the reason I have a Green Bay Packers tattoo because I lost a bet during the 2010 season when the Packers won the Super Bowl. There are so many more things that we've done together, but I don't need to list them all. I lived them. But I would be remorse if I spent all of this time talking about what we did instead of talking about who he is. Joey Kanz is an exceptionally great person with the biggest heart. He's so damn lovable.

I can totally understand why Jess is in love with Joe and wants to spend the rest of her life with him. I would too. I love me some Joey Kanz. I just want to give him a big ol' hug every time I see him. He is the nicest, most genuine person I know. And he cares so much. I remember when he first started dating Jess. You could tell there was something different about him. He was all nervous, like he knew he didn't want to screw this one up, that this one was special. When Joe loves someone or something he goes all in. He's completely dedicated to it almost to a fault. While this may hurt him in other areas of life, here it will help through all the trials and tribulations of a marriage. He will never quit. He will always love her. He will do whatever it takes to protect her and make her happy. He will love her every single day and never forget how amazing life is and how lucky he is to have found her. I don't know Jess as well as I should but I promise to change that. I do blame myself for that though. I've kind of been in a fog for the last few years and I haven't really taken the time to get to know anyone new. And I've ignored a lot of friendships in the meantime. But I do know that I get a really good feeling about her. She's been nothing but kind to me and feels very welcoming. All I ever ask of people is to accept me for who I am, and I am able to be myself around her. I know that she makes Joe a better person because she perfectly compliments his personality. She's challenged him to improve himself on the inside and outside. She has given him a reason to live. We should all be so lucky.

I've been there for many moments in their lives, and I was honored to be a part of their biggest so far. Marriage is a very special thing. It's something you look forward to your entire life. Trust me when I say that no one wants to be alone, no matter how much they stress that they don't need any one else. Humans seek companionship. It's not always romantic. We have friends. We have roommates. I have my cat. Maybe someday I will have my Happily Ever After. I don't really have any control over that. For the time being I suppose that I just have to share in the joy of others. Everyone else seems to be having so much joy in their lives right now. And why shouldn't they? There are so many wonderful things in this World to be happy for and be happy about. They can see them but I can't for some reason. I'm blind to positive thinking and happiness in this World. But if there is hope for other people, then there is hope for me as well. Hope might be the next pickle that I share with you. Who knows man. I've got a whole jar of them just waiting to be shared and not even I know what's in store for us. Not all of us can see how our story ends.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 18th - Even Straw People Die

They try to do things at work to make us interact and get along and shit and they call them Team Building Activities. This isn't unique to my workplace. I'm sure that a lot of places do this. I bet that studies have proven that you will create a friendly and more productive work environment if the employees are in a positive mood and get to know each other better. So what. I don't care about shit like that. If I'm going to goof around at work I'm doing it my own way and on my own time. I don't like being at work. And not just this job. It's work in general. I've learned to put up with it because I have to pay bills and I understand that I'm never going to be rich enough to quit my job. So I just deal with it. I want to clock in, do my job then clock out. I hate working overtime even if they pay me time and a half because I can't fathom spending more than the bare minimum (40 hours a week) doing something that I hate to do. This is my true passion. Writing, working on the websites, creating entertainment like podcasts, movies and music. So why don't I do that full time instead of the shit I do now? Well the truth is I'm really not that good at it compared to the real talented people in the World. Would you pay me money to do this? Hell no you wouldn't. I can't even get people to read my shit for free, let alone toss me a couple of bucks to keep me endeavors going. This blog is free but everything else costs me money and I lose about $200 some dollars a year keeping my various projects going. I don't mind spending the money because it is spent doing something that I love, but it angers me that I have to suffer through something I hate to afford to do something I love. I wish there was a better way... OK. Enough of this shit, time to explain my picture.

At one of these Team Building events, we were paired up with a co-worker, given 10 minutes, a handful of straws, some string, scissors and tape and had to come up with something travel related (I work for a travel company). My teammate and I both didn't feel like doing anything so we complained about it for a few minutes. Then she just started putting straws together and I grouped some together so they looked like a palm tree. Then we decided to do a hotel in Hawaii and leave it at that. I started putting some straws together and it looked like a mountain, so I decided to make a volcano that was erupting which then led to the hotel being flattened by the sonic boom of the explosion and the ash cloud that followed. I have a real morbid imagination. If you've been following me at all over the last 2 1/2 years then you've most certainly noticed that I often speak of death rather candidly. In my explanation to the group I described what we had created and said that everyone died. If we had more straws and more than 10 minutes I would have made some dead bodies to lay on the ground by the hotel. I'm sure that someone has a problem with this but I don't care. We're all going to die someday. That is something every living thing on this planet has in common. So I don't understand why we are so scared to talk about it. It's going to happen whether you like it or not. I have chosen to embrace it and accept it. I am going to die someday.

It sucks when people die. I know that all too well. So I'm not trying to make light of it when I create an art project involving death. Yeah I guess I joke about it, and I know that those fictional straw people that I would have laid dead on the slops of the erupting volcano would have had families and friends who would miss them immensely. Imagine straw people in a big straw church and they are all bent over (cause they are bendy straws!) in sorrow as the casket of their straw families/friends are carried down the aisle and placed in a straw hearse while the straw musician plays a sad song on the straw baby grand piano. It's a real sad scene. But that straw volcano would have erupted, flattened the straw hotel and killed those straw people even if I didn't imagine it in my head and partially create it during a work exercise. We can't control death. It's going to happen. But I guess I don't have to be so morbid all the time, asking for the Rapture or the End of the World to kill me and do it now because I'm he-ere, but I can't help it. 

If you are a faithful visitor to this blog then you will have no doubt seen that I record a podcast called The Drive to Stay Alive. I don't expect you to listen to it because the basic point is this - I'm in search of a reason to keep living. That's exactly why I don't do anything to better my life. When you have to question the point of living, you don't care about dying. Plain and simple. I don't care about being in shape, maintaining friendships, meeting a girl, starting a family, excelling in my career, changing the World, etc. etc. You know, all of the shit that you normies do. I'm different man. I used to think that was going to be my path in life as well. But then someone died. And when he died I died a little bit as well. And I die a little bit more every single day as the constant reminder sinks in that life is always going to suck. Chances are I'm going to live to be 100 just so I have to suffer through a long battle with these problems and it's going to take me an eternity to get my wish - that I can die too. Everyone dies. Even straw people. I'm hoping my next pickle won't be something so morbid. In fact, if I have it my way it will actually be a celebration of life. But that is another pickle in the full jar that will be shared with you tomorrow. That is unless everyone dies before then.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom
https://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

Pickle the Day: October 17th - I HATE the Smell of Commerce in the Evening!

I hate the smell of commerce in the evening. I hate it in the morning. I hate it during the Christmas season. I hate it on a boat, I hate it on a plane. I really do hate it Sam I Am. Now I sound like the Green Eggs and Ham dude. What was his name? Dr Suess? What exactly was he a doctor of? Look I don't really care. It's 7am and I barely slept. I had to be at work at 6am for this health assessment bullshit. What are they going to tell me, that I'm obese? Well, there's something that I didn't know. Like I'm not reminded of it every single day. But that's not the point right now. I hate the mall. I hate shopping in general though. I have everything I need to survive for the immediate future but I guess sometimes that's not enough. My buddy Joey Kanz is getting married tomorrow and I had to pick up my tuxedo. That meant going to the mall yet again. In the last few weeks I've been there to get fitted for that tux, eat dinner with the family, 5-6 separate times for eye exams/new contacts, to see a movie and some other random bullshit. I worked at the mall for like 5 years when I was in my late teens to early 20s. I was sick of it then and I'm sick of it now. I don't understand people who go there. That's one thing I just can't get behind. Must be a fat guy thing. We don't like trying on clothes or walking a lot. That's pretty much what the mall is. There's the food court and snack stations, which we do like, but we don't like eating in public because people judge us. I'd rather eat in the privacy of my home so that no one can disapprove of my food choices. Look pal, I already know that I'm going to die. Newsflash - we are all going to die. I'm just trying to beat you there. It's about time that I won something. But fuck it. Why care about something if it isn't worth caring about? Who gives a shit about the mall anyway? I don't. So I don't know why I even bother wasting my time talking about it. Why do I do anything?

I'm sick and tired of everything. What else is new? I've got nothing. I can't wait for October to be over so I can stop bitching about stuff every day. I'm starting to sound like people on Facebook that drive me crazy like Hoke drives Miss Daisy. Remember that flick? Morgan Freeman was the shit in that. He's the shit in everything. I wish he was my best friend. I could sit and listen to him talk forever. I could imagine us sitting in rocking chairs on the porch, watching the sun set while splitting a pitcher of lemonade. He would tell me stories from his life, his friend's lives, movie characters' lives, a bug's life, the life of Pi, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Life Magazine, the Life Foundation, the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life and hopefully narrate my life when we start going off on adventures together. Morgan and Me. That would be a dream come true. If only my life were that amazing. But maybe it will be. Maybe tomorrow will be a pickle of me and Morgan Freeman giving each other high fives. Who knows? I've got a whole jar of them just waiting to be shared. There may be one in there that I never saw coming. Please be this one!

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com