The Write Month: June 15 - Just Call Me Random

Sorry for the crudity of the picture but it is a picture of a picture (and like Doug #4 in Multiplicity, when you make a copy of a copy it's just not as sharp as the original) but this picture was the inspiration for this post in a way. My sister Jenny and I are pretty damn random but not as random as this bum. And here's why. Back when Jenny was in High School and dating Dan Wilhelm we used to goof off around town. One night in the summer of 2002 we went down to the lakefront and saw this bum sleeping on a park bench. Dan and I wanted to get our picture taken with him but didn't want to be rude about it so we came up with this genius idea. We approached him and said we were doing a scavenger hunt and said we needed to get our picture taken with a random person. He promptly responded with, "Well, just call me random" and Random the Bum was born. Well just call me random has been a part of our vocabulary every since and that was a day to be remembered if only for its' randomness.

In the spirit of Random the Bum I decided to answer some random questions. Some of them I found on the Internet by doing a simple Google search of random questions and I picked a few that jumped right out at me. Then I sent a simple text message to several of my friends and family with this message, "Ask me a random question. I'll answer it on my blog tomorrow." These are the questions that I received from them along with my response. Of everything that I've done so far during the Write Month this one has been the most entertaining because I couldn't have planned for these questions and my responses are my honest and immediate thoughts. Thanks to everyone who submitted a question and I'm thinking about making this a permanent addition to the blog if it proves to be a success. Lord knows that I love being random.

The Internet: Are you optimistic about the future?

Me: I was looking up at the stars when I went camping with my Dad recently and I asked him what are we more likely to see in our lifetime - Aliens or Nuclear War? We both said Nuclear War. For the record I believe that we aren't alone in the Universe because probability states out of all the planets out there in the infinite beyond there has to be another one besides Earth that is capable of sustaining life. There's billions of possibilities out there yet I don't believe in the possible good of mankind which prevents them from pushing the button that ends the human race. That's sad.

My cousin Brian Kurutz "BK3": What's up with Global Warming?

Me: (I kind of want to answer this question like Harry Caray): Hey! I heard there's this Global Warming thing happening. Just the other day my friend said to me, Hey! Harry! What's with this Global Warming? And I said the World isn't warming up, you're just wearing a sweater. (Back to me): Global Warming is bullshit. Global Warming my ass. If the World was getting warmer then why the fuck is it 60 degrees in mid-June here in Wisconsin?

My brother James Reck: What do you dislike about Wrigley Field?

Me: I'm going to use Russell Hammond's answer when he was asked what he liked about music, "To begin with, everything." Is this a serious question? I had to ask him to clarify if he meant what do I like about Wrigley instead of what I dislike. The list of things that I like about the place would be pretty small. The list about what I dislike could go on seemingly forever. I'll try to limit it to some of the things I dislike the most. First off we have Wrigley Field itself. There's a reason it's called The Neighborhood Dump. People may fall in love with the history or the nostalgia but the fact remains that the place is just old. The concourses are small. Access to the upper level is by ramp. I've never seen any stairs, escalators or elevators. The seats themselves are small and the aisles are cramped. Not very comfortable for a man of size. The support beams that hold the structure together offer a lot of obstructed view seats. 

And although I hate all of the nonsense they do on the Miller Park scoreboard (Got Milk? Muscle Cam, Kohl's Show Us Your Sign, Topp's Baseball Cards memory match game, find the Stubhub Ticket Oak, Potawatomi Crazy Cap Shuffle game, US Cellular Ringtone Karaoke sing along, Briggs & Stratton Power Roulette Wheel and many other distractions that take away from the game) I do like a giant scoreboard with all of the stats that baseball dorks like me love to talk about. What is Starlin Castro's OPS? How about Jeff Samardzija's WHIP? You mean I have to look it up on the internet? And last but not least we have the people who fill up that joint on a daily basis - Cubs fans. I can't stand them and I'm ok if I never go to Wrigley Field again in my lifetime. It's like a personal hell. Why would I want to spend 3 hours there then go back for seconds or thirds? No thank you. I'm just fine and dandy in the left field bleachers of Miller Park. Fuck Chicago. Fuck Wrigley Field. And of course, fuck the Cubbies. 

My friend and co-worker Mike Wilhelm: What is the first thing you think of when you wake up on St. Patrick's Day?

Me (5 years ago): Which bar is open at 6am and can I go to work drunk or should I call in sick today?

Me: (now): Damn I'm tired. Why did I stay up until 3am drinking and writing. Oh, today is St. Patrick's Day? Forgot about that. Ah shit, that means Mike Wilhelm is going to wear a green shirt at work today and I'll have another reason for why he annoys the shit out of me. 

The Internet: What celebrity do you want to kill?

Me: I don't know if you can really call her a celebrity but it would be Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials. I can't stand her and every time I see her stupid face or hear her annoying voice I want to slit her throat. They play those commercial seemingly every break on Sportsradio 1250 WSSP here in Milwaukee and I've stopped listening to the station some days because I just can't take it anymore. This recent movie called The Purge just came out in theaters and it has a very interesting premise - in the near future the Government has sanctioned 1 day a year where all crime is legal so that evil kind of takes care of itself. Survival of the fittest I guess. Get rid of the weeds to let the garden grow. I've heard the movie isn't great because it focuses more on 1 home invasion instead of showing how seemingly good natured people react to the chance for a "get out of jail card" and what happens to people when the rules no longer apply. Do we carry on like normal or do we succumb to the urge to get away scott-free? If I could get away with murder, I can't say I could actually look Flo in her eyes as I twisted a knife inside her stomach, but I at least would consider it. Now that's fucked up.

My sister-in-law Melissa Reck: Why is South Carolina better than Wisconsin?

Me: 2 reasons - the weather and the history. Let's start with the weather. Saturday June 15, 2013. Columbia, SC - high of 90 degrees with a 0% chance of rain. Milwaukee, WI - high of 74 degrees with scattered Thunderstorms and a 50% chance of rain. I'm supposed to be hosting an outdoor party in the backyard. Need I say more? As far as the history I just need to point out the city of Charleston vs. Milwaukee. Sure we have some pretty cool things up here but the 1800's just can't compete with the 1600's when it comes to old world charm. I only spent a few hours walking around the city but the houses, buildings and streets have a certain style that you just can't duplicate.

My "Cousin" Kevin McKissick: What would you do if you had 2 hours left to live? Sub questions - Who would you hang out with? Where would you go?

Me: Wow. Congrats on coming up with the most serious question. I wouldn't try to go anywhere because the only place I would want to go in that situation would be Afterglow, but I probably couldn't get there in the allotted time. I suppose I would just go over to my Mom's house if I was nearby and ask my family to come over to share those last 2 hours with me. I would ask for them not to be sad and instead laugh with me as we recounted happy or humorous stories of my life. My one request would be for a bottle of whiskey to help me loosen up and accept my fate. Plus I'm no stranger to the sauce so it would only seem right. I would take about 10 minutes to post something on Facebook thanking everyone for everything they have done for me to help shape my life. I would also apologize for anything that I said or did that made you think less of me as a person. Try and right the wrongs if you will. I would not read any responses. I would choose Facebook because it would take way too much time to tell every one individually. I would listen to music, preferably some of Timmy's songs to get me in the right mindset to see him again. I would instruct Jenny to take care of Korben Dallas and for Kevin to carry on the Pookon empire (or at least foot the yearly bill to keep the website running) so people could read the story of my life. I want that and this blog to be my legacy much like Timmy with his Albums. As you know, I operate The Reck Room Studios on Facebook and at TimReck.com to share his music. I would ask Kevin to do the same for me once I'm gone but with my pictures and writings. And as my final minutes approached I would probably say a prayer to God. I've lost my way in faith in the recent years and although I don't go to church often I still believe in God and the existence of Heaven. I would ask my Guardian Angel (Timmy) to welcome me there and with my last words I would hope to say something inspirational or hilarious. Something my family would remember for all time. But knowing me, I would probably quote a movie. I'd pour a shot of whiskey, raise it up in the air and say, "Here's to ya Blacksmith!", drink my last sip, smile one last smile and prepare for the June's Blanket Reunion Tour in the sky.

My Dad Mike Reck: Where is the best place to go for a hamburger?

Me: If you ask people in Milwaukee this question the majority of people seem to have one of these places at or near the top of their list - Sobleman's, Solly's or AJ Bombers. Despite living in Milwaukee for my entire life I haven't tried any of these so I can't comment on them. My best place to go for a hamburger used to be Robert's Custard on 60th and Appleton. It's now called Junior's and I went there back in April and it was awful. I guess that's what happens when new ownership takes over and destroys everything that you used to love. So I guess I would have to say that it would have to be Kopp's. 

But the question wasn't "Where is the best place in Milwaukee to go for a hamburger?" it was "Where is the best place to go for a hamburger?" Then my answer is simple - In-N-Out Burger. Ever since the first time I had it in California I have made it a point to stop there any time I am near the West Coast. For many years I was in Las Vegas for the World Series of Beer Pong and I going to In-N-Out Burger was usually the highlight of my trip. When I went down to Phoenix, Arizona for Milwaukee Brewers Spring Training in 2009 I went there. And more recently in late March of this year I was in Las Vegas once again but this time for my friend TJ's wedding. On my last day out there I went to In-N-Out and I got a Double Double with Animal Fries and it was hands down the best meal I've had all year long. I don't know if the burger is really that good or that I just think that it is because I can only get it once a year. I can't answer that question but if I could go get a burger right now with no limitations of time or distance, I would go to In-N-Out Burger.

My friend and colleague Matt Werner "M. Thomas Jaynes" of The Daily Burner: What is the first conscious memory that you have?

Me: That's probably the worst question that you could have asked. What was that question again? I have a terrible memory. Historically bad if that makes any sense. I can barely remember my childhood and there's not a lot I could tell you about my life prior to 2000 (when I started keeping journals, got my first digital camera and created my website). But after a bit of reflection I guess I have to pick one. It's probably not my first memory but this is earliest one that is coming to mind at 2:00am. I was in the living room of my childhood home laying on the floor with my head on our first collie or Lassie 1 as I refer to her now. I think she died around the time (if not a little bit before) Jenny was born so I would have been about 4 years old. I remember her being a real sweet and nice dog and she would let me lay next to her on the floor and pet her. There's something about being on the floor that always reminds me of being a little kid and I wish I had more memories of being that young. It's just a big blank sheet of white up there and I hope no one else ever asks me to recollect my youth. I've worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real hard I can remember my first pair of shoes. Momma said they'd take me everywhere. They were my magic shoes. It's funny how you remember some things but some things you can't. I remember my bus ride on the first day of school. You know it's funny what a young man recollects? I don't remember being born, I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She was like an angel. We were like peas and carrots.

The Internet: When I say "pie", what is the first word that pops into your head?

Me: Punch. That was an easy one. Thanks to South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut I will forever associate punch with pie. Want to know the secret to getting more people to attend your event? Tell them you'll have punch and pie. More people will come if they think you have punch and pie.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom

The Write Month: June 14 - The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 19 - Operation Dawn

I've been doing a solo podcast since late October of 2012. I call it The Drive to Stay Alive because I record the episode while I am driving back and forth from work while searching for my purpose in this world; a reason to keep living. I started recording at a very dark time in my life and over the course of the last 8 months I have figured out a lot of things about myself and how to be happy in an otherwise sad world. I haven't got it all figured out yet which is why I keep recording. To my knowledge I'm the only one who has ever listened to an episode of this even though I have posted every single of them in this blog. But I'm ok with that. In fact I don't really care if you listen to them because you don't really have a reason to. It's not your life on the line here. Whatever you tell me to do or try and help me fix my life probably won't work (no offense) because the answer needs to come from within. I have to figure this one out on my own. But I post these episodes to hold myself accountable in the rare case that someone does take the time to know what's going on in my life. At any time someone could stop me and ask if I have stayed true to any of the promises that I have made or if I have quit like I always do. But no one has done that yet. But I do enjoy going back and listening to the previous episodes because each one is a snapshot of my life at that moment. I can also see how much (or how little) I have changed since then. The following episode was recorded at like 3 in the morning when I was in Las Vegas in late March of 2013, which is a bit of a departure from the usual Drive to Stay Alive Podcast. 

I rolled into Las Vegas on a Friday night around midnight. My flights had been delayed and were switched around so I got in later than I had expected. For my troubles I received a $600 travel voucher so my trip started out on a very high note. I arrived at my hotel (The Super 8 just off Strip) and met up with my friends where we hung out and sand some karaoke. They went to bed around 230 am but I was pretty jazzed up and not ready to turn in. That's when I started Operation Dawn. I was drinking (and not driving of course) so I decided to record even though it wasn't a traditional episode of this podcast. It's a little on the long side because I just hit the record button and had a hard time paying attention thanks to the booze, flashing lights and obnoxious noises. But now I'm sober and I was able to edit together a semi-coherent representation of my night. It's not as introspective as I usually get and I in no way, shape or form identify a problem in my life or figure out a way to solve it. But I do have some fun. Some good drunken fun. Give it a listen if you have an hour to burn. 

Right click and Save As to download a copy of The Drive to Stay Alive - Episode 19 - Operation Dawn: http://pookonco.ipower.com/music/dtsa-19.mp3

When I'm drunk and alone I usually take to Twitter to share my adventures with someone. And that someone ends up being anyone who is brave enough to follow me. I'm 100% honest on there and everything that I say actually happened. I know. Seriously. I don't really believe it myself which is why I put it on there. When I sober up I check my Twitter account to see if I imagined it or if it was real. The following are real things that happened to me that night during Operation Dawn:

Picked up my bottle of backpack rum. My weekend in #LasVegas can now officially begin. I'm gonna be drunk 24/7 bitches!

Lost $4, had 2 rum drinks, ate the shit out of some pizza and a $2 local microbrew. This place is awesome. #EllisIslandCasino

My only stipulation for a slot machine is that it has to be as loud and obnoxious and I am. #LasVegas

It's 5am. I won $100 on penny slots and $20 by letting it ride on black. I'm up on the night plus I had plenty of beers. #LasVegas #victory

Fuck. Shit. God damn it. I was up and now I'm back at even. Why did I play blackjack? #GamblingAddiction #LasVegas

I should have left this casino hours ago. I shouldn't have had 10 beers. I've made some mistakes. But fuck it. #rage #LasVegas

I've been in this casino for going on 6 hours now. If I leave even then at least I did something better than sleeping. #rage

I'm just so fucking drunk right now. Creating a spectacle and cheering and laughing over nonsense. Another day in the life... #Iceman

Hanging out with this old dude. I'm drinking beer. He's drinking coffee. This old guy rules! #victory

I don't care if I win money or I lose money. This entire trip is going to be #victory when all is said and done. #LasVegas

The best part about this is that it's 830am back in Wisconsin and I'm talking to @JennyReck and @MPW8279 and I'm wasted. #LasVegas

Every time that I think about leaving this casino I get another round of free games or #victory. I can't lose! #LasVegas

This machine doesn't want me to leave. Every time I get up to go I get another bonus game. And another drink! #victory

This is beyond ridiculous. You would think I was dreaming right now. I have gotten so many free games and so many free beers. #victory

I just left the casino. Didn't sleep all night. Was raging like a banshee. I don't even know what that means. Classic. #victory

Still haven't slept. Drunk as shit, chillaxing in a hot tub. Living the good life. It's good to be the Iceman. #victory

Sobering up by doing laps in the pool. I wish every day could be like this. I truly am living the dream right now. #victory

I know I shouldn't be proud of this, but I'm so fucking drunk still at 9am. My life is insane pal. #LivingTheDream

(Taxi cab rolls up) Driver: you need a taxi? Me: No thanks pal, I'm trying to cut back. #classic

Sitting outside on the street, eating the shit out of some breakfast I got at 7 Eleven. Pretty much a perfect morning. #LasVegas

I'm such a drunken asshole right now. I saw some vomit on the ground, said last night's dinner and chuckled. #classic

I knew #LasVegas had a traffic problem, but I don't remember getting hit by a bus this morning. Good Lord. #GettingOld

This was a really good night. I actually remember a good amount of it despite being so drunk. I love that this happened the first night I was out here because I blew off so much steam and had a blast. I was losing money all night long and then hit a really big score that put me back ahead for the day. And I was drinking. All. Night. Long. When I finally left the casino at like 7am I went swimming to try and sober up. That didn't really work so I went to 7/11 for some breakfast. I sat out on the street corner eating my sausage muffin and drinking some orange juice and I just laughed. It's been a long time since I was that drunk so early in the morning. I just kept laughing to myself that I was a such a drunken asshole. This was a pretty good day. It wasn't the Virgin Islands and I didn't meet a girl. We didn't eat lobster, nor did we drink pina coladas. At sunset we definitely didn't make love like sea otters. I didn't get that day, but this was a day that I wouldn't mind living over and over. How's that for a glass is half full kinda guy?

- pookon - 

www.pookon.com
email: pookondotcom@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman
https://twitter.com/pookondotcom

The Write Month: June 13 - Driving On

On Saturday I talked about a song that conjures up a specific memory. But has there ever been a song that really spoke to you and described a certain time in your life? For Anita Miller it was Simon and Garfunkel's "America". It explained why she was leaving home to become a stewardess. The song expressed exactly what she wanted to say in words and it made perfect sense at that moment in her life. I always wanted something like that. Something that described what I was going through. Something that me, the writer, couldn't figure out how to say. When I was lost and didn't know where to turn I looked to my brother Timmy for inspiration. Even after he is gone he is still providing me with the answers. I found this song "Driving On" in The Reck Room archives of songs that he recorded but for whatever reason never made it on an album. There are plenty of songs that I listened to for the first time but this one stuck with me. It was in my head when I went to sleep and again when I woke to face a new day. I carried it with me as I tried to navigate the confusing path in front of me. I never know how I manage to do live another day without my best friend but somehow I'm able to do it. I just keep driving on.

That's all I really have to say that this song doesn't already say. I still can't believe that I found this song at a time when I needed it most. Call it fate, chance, an act of God or whatever you want, but I prefer to see it as my Guardian Angel looking out for me. Timmy always had a way of making things seem ok even when they weren't. He could make me laugh with just a smile. Neither of us had a clue what to do with our lives but we knew that as long as we had each other everything would be alright. So things haven't been alright these last 2 years. But I'm still here. I'm still looking for a purpose in life. So I'll keep driving on towards the rising sun where I know good feelings last a long long time...

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

www.TimReck.com

The Write Month: June 12 - I Don't Consort with Nefarious Characters

I spoke that sentence at work yesterday. I don't know what context it was in or what it was in reference to. I don't even know how I came up with this line. It's so random but it is also a very good way to live your life. It is the truth. I don't hang out out with evil doers who are hell bent on causing damage and destruction to mankind and the World as we know it. I only associate with reputable members of society that have passed my moral ethics test and general code of conduct. That's probably why I've managed to stay out of trouble and out of jail for my entire life. I've never been arrested or even got so much as a speeding ticket. The worst I've even been is when I used to get on the Red Light in 2nd grade and those times that I bit the babysitter. I've been pretty straight-edged for most of my life and I don't plan on changing it. I tried to be dangerous once and I fell off a motorcycle. It was a pretty impressive feat considering that it was parked in the driveway. I try to be badass by swearing in public and in front of my mother but when I am scolded I just run and hide. I'm afraid I'm just not very good at... confrontations.

I wish I could stand up for myself. I wish that I could be a bad guy. I wish I could fight for the woman that I love. I wish I could fight for a woman that I don't love. I'm never going to be a knight in shining armor. They don't make armor in husky size. I'm always going to be a nice guy that finishes last. But I'm not even sure if I am a nice guy. For the majority of my life I've either been an asshole or a complete jerk but I haven't necessarily been one of those guys from the wrong side of the tracks that the girl runs away with. So I'm doomed to walk the Earth alone like The Incredible Hulk without being able to turn into a giant green angry bastard who can smash shit and save lives. I don't know what I am. As long as I've been able to comprehend life and how I fit into it I have realized that I don't fit in. I'm a loner. I'm unique. The only one of my kind. And I shall forever be alone.

I don't consort with nefarious characters. Hell for the most part I don't consort with anyone. For some reason I don't have a problem being alone. That's made single life easier to bear. But maybe I should take a chance; live on the edge for once. Be a little dangerous. I do have tattoos. But none of that really matters if I don't start to believe in myself, to have some confidence for once. I may never be a nefarious character. I just don't have it in me. But in a World where there is so much evil and hate, do we really need another one?

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 11 - This Is the End

It's no secret over here on the blog that I love movies. In fact, if you are a fellow cinephile (trust me, it's not a dirty word) like me then you have been able to properly pick out the multiple movie references that I drop in each post. You're welcome. Tonight I went to see the new comedy This Is The End courtesy of free passes from my favorite radio station Sportsradio 1250 WSSP. If you are a fan of these actors from multiple projects including (but certainly not limited to) Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, Freeks & Geeks, Undeclared, East Bound and Down, Your Highness, Superbad or any of their individual movies where they show up in cameos you will like this movie. In it all of the actors play themselves and basically make fun of themselves as actors and people. Their friendship is put to the test as the Apocalypse happens and they pretty much have to bunker down in James Franco's house and try to survive. I'm not going to say anything else but this movie went places I never saw coming and got more and more ridiculous with every passing minute. You can tell that these guys really are friends and play off of each other so well. There had to have been some fun times on the set where the improv just gets way out of control. This was the most I have laughed at a movie in a very long time and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who loves this style of comedy. If you don't like these guys or the movies that they are in then you won't like this. Plain and simple. But I didn't come here to give you my review of the movie. You can get that anywhere. But if you want to enjoy the film please do not read any reviews. You don't need anything from this movie spoiled beyond what you already know. But you came here for something else. You came here for the End of the World.

The End of the World is something that has been talked about a whole lot in the last few years, more so than ever because of The Rapture and the end of the Mayan Calendar on December 21 of 2012. Obviously neither of those happened and we are still here. But there was a time in my life when I wished that God or some Natural Disaster did call me back to Heaven/destroy life as we know it killing me in the process. After by brother Timmy died I didn't want to keep living in fear of what life was like without him and the never ending sadness that was sure to follow. It has been over 2 years since he died and I have made some positive strides but it is important to look back on my past and see where I came from. One thing that I have always done throughout the good times and the bad is to document my life by pictures and words so that I am able to remember everything. I will now present you with some of the things that I have written about the End of the World. Click on the red links for those articles from this blog and The Daily Burner.

Pookon's Ill Blog: The Rapture (October 21, 2011) - I spent almost every day from April 24 on crying or in some form of sadness. Depression had set in big time and I tried to drown myself in a bottle of whiskey, rum or vodka or anything that could take me away from the hell that I started living. On one such alcohol fueled night I wrote one of the more serious things I've ever written. It started off being about me wanting to die but then somehow through God's love flowing through me (I often call myself an instrument of God), it turned around and ended up being more inspirational. I don't remember writing it but I'm very proud of what it became.

The Daily Burner: CNN Signs Morgan Freeman to Narrate The Apocalypse (December 15, 2012) - The Daily Burner is a site that Cousin Kevin and I started to be kind of like The Onion. We create fake news stories and sensationalize the mundane. With the End of the World in the news I figured that it would a make a funny story if CNN announced that they had signed Morgan Freeman to come on the air and act as a calming narrator while the World burned. In some weird way I could actually see this happening and if it did, I would probably watch their coverage. Who doesn't love the sound of Morgan Freeman's voice?

The Daily Burner: Litter of Puppies Prepare for the APawcalypse (December 19, 2012) - With so much in the news on death, destruction and sadness there has to be a cute or feel good story to balance all of that out. That's why I wrote this story. Who doesn't love a litter of golden retrievers coming together to prepare for the Apawcalypse? Especially when those puppies look to their hero Air Bud to show them how to be strong?

The Daily Burner: Tomorrow's Forecast Calls for Highs in the Thousands with a 99% Chance of Death (December 20, 2012) - In the event of the Apocalypse the news would still keep running as long as they could to inform you about the coming end of days. I have a feeling it would be business as usual in order to keep people calm and I can see them trying to give you a 5-day weather forecast. Unfortunately the world is going to burn so the forecast would be something similar to what I wrote. I tried to do in in the style of a weatherman and it works better if you read it out loud in that kind of voice and style. 

Pookon's Ill Blog: The Drive to Stay Alive - Ep 9 - The End of My World (December 27, 2012) - The Drive to Stay Alive is a solo podcast that I have been doing on this blog since October of 2012. The whole purpose of it was for me to find a reason to keep on living; to find my purpose in this life. In this one I talk about The Rapture and the upcoming Apocalypse (it was recorded on December 17, 2012) and offer some of my thoughts about it. This podcast has helped me to talk about my problems out loud even if no one is listening. I still haven't found the reason why I'm still here and other people have died young but at least I'm still trying. As long as I am alive I will continue to keep driving on.

I've always been fascinated by the End of the World, Aliens, Ghosts, the unknown, unsolved mysterious and all of that other unusual shit. I want to see all of them in my lifetime and I was hoping this would have already happened because I didn't have a reason to keep living. I don't want to die and I don't want anything bad to happen to any of my friends or family. But if aliens came down and started firing their lasers at us I would be ready for death. If massive volcanoes opened up and fire started raining down from the sky I would stand outside and welcome the end. And that's all because my brother was taken from me at such an early age and I'm struggling to adjust to life without him. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me and at least if I died we would hopefully be reunited in Heaven. And also if I died I wouldn't have to suffer any longer. I wouldn't feel pain, nor loss and I wouldn't have to be surrounded by sadness. I still have a lot of things left to accomplish in this life but if it were my time to die then I would do so knowing that I was ready. Screw it man - This is the End.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 10 - Back to the Writing Tablet

The whole reason that I started this Write Month is so that I could go back to writing in a journal like I used to do back in college. This was before this blog existed and I had a lot of ideas and feelings that I wanted to record so that I could look back on my life and instantly be transported back to who I was on that specific day. When I started this blog I found an easy way to share my thoughts and ideas with others in a method that was a lot easier and faster than the "old fashioned" way. I can type faster and more legibly than I can write. Most people can. But not too long ago I found those old journals and realized that they had so much character. There's something special about the written word and being able to hold a physical copy of my work in my hand. Reading my thoughts on a computer screen just can't compare to notebook paper. Plus I tend to write more personal things in there because they aren't shared with the world. I don't really have anything to hide and if you are a frequent visitor to this blog or if you follow me on Twitter you would know that I really don't hold back. I like to be open and honest about things because I want you to like me or hate me for who I am and I don't want to bullshit you. I'm too old and too ugly to pretend to be something that I'm not. But there are still some things that belong in a notebook that should never appear online for mass consumption. Why would you want to read about my true feelings anyway?

I started my new journal yesterday (June 9th, 2013) and I intend to write in it whenever I get the inspiration to do so. I'm not going to tell you what I wrote in there yesterday because that is for my eyes only. And maybe God's too. And that peeping Tom who keeps judging my wardrobe. But let's just say that there was some ghost talk about unfinished business, Casper-style. I hope to use my new journal frequently because I have so many thoughts running through my head at any given moment that I think I might go crazy if I don't figure out a way to get them out of there. Thankfully over the years I have created Pookon.com, this blog, TheDailyBurner.com and started 2 Twitter accounts (@Pookondotcom and @RobertTway) so there is never a shortage of venues for me to work my magic. Writing keeps me sane. If I had to keep all my thoughts and feelings cooped up inside my head I'm pretty sure that my head would explode. You ever see that scene in Scanners when that dude's head blew up? It would kind of be like that. I don't want that to happen. Neither would Marv the Janitor at Washington Dulles International Airport. He'll be damned if he's gonna clean up that mess. So for Marv's sake, for your Daughter's sake, I'm just going to keep on writing. Check back daily in June for a new post here on the blog during The Write Month. You never quite know what kind of nonsense I'll put on here to stop my head from exploding.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 9 - Do the Write Thing

I first came up with the idea of the Write Month when I was camping with my Dad. If you missed that entry simply follow this link to check that out. Basically I needed to go back to my roots as a writer and throw some of my ideas down on the page, or on the computer screen if you will. Even though I'm quite proud of my idea and the content that I have come up with so far, I think that I picked one hell of a week to commit to writing every single day. But before I talk about the challenges of trying to come up with some fresh content on a daily basis let me first give you a recap of my week to make me feel better about how difficult it was for me to post something new every day this week.

Saturday June 1st - I was camping with my Dad near Lake Geneva and I promised myself that I would take a break from my phone, which I spend way too much time using. But when I came up with this idea I had to blog about it because I forgot to buy a notebook at Walmart. My whole idea was to go back to the days that I used to write with a pen on paper and have a daily journal that would be a better representation of my daily life than my blog or website does. That night I had a fire and stayed up until 3am. My Dad stayed up until a little after 1am and we just talked for hours. We haven't done that in years. It was great.

Sunday June 2nd - Woke up at 6am because I couldn't sleep. Started the fire so I had something to do and I stared into it for a few hours which led to this blog post.  After packing up camp around 1pm we went to the Southern Wisconsin Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Union Grove, which is where my Grandpa (Dad's Dad) is buried. He died on May 29, 2012 and when we had the burial the headstone wasn't done yet. I wanted to go back because it has been a year since he died and I wanted to come here and reflect. When I got home I had to mow my Mom's lawn and Eddie bought Chinese food, which led to the post about fortune cookies on Monday. This was a very exhausting weekend but in the same way it was exactly what I needed. I need to get out more and step outside the comfort of my home.

Monday June 3rd - Nothing out of the ordinary happened today but that didn't mean today was an easy going day. Worked 930 - 5 at the day job then went to work at Miller Park from 6-10. It was a very uneventful day and the Milwaukee Brewers lost to the Oakland Athletics 10-2. It was another small turnout at Miller Park as the Brewers continued what has been a very disappointing season. Since my job is directly related to attendance (I'm an order taker on the Club Level. If there aren't any people there, I can't take orders and make money trough tips) I did a lot of standing around. I felt like my time was wasted and could have been better spent doing other things. But at least I got paid I guess.

Tuesday June 4th - I stepped over an anthill this morning and spared the lives of an entire colony of innocent ants. Worked the 930-5 day job again then went to the Brewers game with Cousin Kevin. News broke about Major League Baseball possibly handing out a 100 game suspension to Ryan Braun for his connection to the Miami Biogenesis Clinic which prompted me to state for all those who bear to listen that I don't care because baseball is only a game. It's entertainment. It is not my life. I have so many better things to do then care about millionaires playing a children's game. But that having been said I do still enjoy going to those games and the Brewers won 4-3 on a walkoff hit in the 10th inning. 

Wednesday June 5th - Worked 930-615 at the day job but it was one of those days that I love - when the Brewers play a day game so I have something to do at work that distracts me from how mundane my job really is. Today was the most uneventful day but I certainly welcomed it. After work I went over to my Mom's to do laundry and we hung out. Despite having more time today than I did in the last few I didn't get anything accomplished today. But sometimes you just need a day to rest and recover.

Thursday June 6th - Another typical day in the summer for me. Worked 930-5 at the day job and 6-10 at Miller Park. It was another typical game for the Brewers as they lost to the Phillies by a score of 5-1. The Brewers are the 3rd worst team in the Major Leagues but none of that really mattered to me as I sat outside at work complaining about the weather here in Wisconsin. I don't like to bitch much about things that are out of my control but this is getting ridiculous. How is it only 50 degrees in June? What the hell is going on here? Whatever happened to that Global Warming shit?

Friday June 7th - Worked the day job from 9-5 then Miller Park from 6-10. It would have been another average day (except for my midday rant about a f****** parking spot) but after work I went out to the bars with my friends from Miller Park. I always forget how much I really love that job because the people who I work with are amazing. There's never a dull moment there and plenty of things to laugh about. These people provided me with one of the more epic nights of my life when "nothing could possibly go wrong". It was a great reminder that people make life worth living. Not things, or money or places you can go. It's who you do it with.

Saturday June 8th - Last night I heard Chicago's Saturday in the Park and it conjured up a specific memory of hanging out with Timmy on the 3rd of July on Milwaukee's Lakefront. Today was a day of parties and I would spend this Saturday in the park. I went up to Lomira for a few hours for my friend TJ's wedding party. Back in March I went out to Las Vegas as he got married to Megan and so now they had a party back home for everyone who couldn't make it out there. It was nice to hang out with all my friends because I stay so busy I often forget to stop and do that. Then I went to my cousin Joey's 6th birthday party where I hung out with my family. When you're with the Kurutz's (my Mom's side of the family) there is never a dull moment. I watched the Brewers game with BK3 and they actually won for a change. At the end of the night I had a nice long conversation with my Aunt Susan about getting older, growing up and figuring out who you are as a person. It was a great talk and I certainly feel comfortable talking to her about some real life issues. I'll keep that in mind for the future.

This was a lot of stuff to get through just to prove this one point - it was difficult for me to find the time to write something new every day here on the blog. But I did it. I don't expect you to be impressed or anything and I am in no way bragging about it. A lot of people have busier lives than I do working multiple jobs and taking care of their children or have other time consuming responsibilities. I get it. But I set forth a challenge and for the first week of the month I succeeded. I believe in celebrating even the little things in life because isn't that what makes life special? I'm going to stay positive in a world that seems to be based in negativity so I don't care what any one else says about me or what I do. As long as I am enjoying my life then it is none of your business. Hopefully you are one of my supporters who will continue to encourage me to live life and write about it every day instead of someone who will hate on me for sensationalizing the mundane. But that's what I do with my life. I make the most of it. And if you don't like you can do whatever you want. I've got enough friends and family who care about me and continue to push me to keep doing what I'm doing. And at this time in this moment, what I'm doing is pretty damn good.

 - pookon - 

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 8 - Saturday in the Park

It's weird how a certain song can conjure up a memory and make you think of a specific moment in your life that will forever be connected to that song. Like when you kissed your wife for the very first time at The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance (Earth Angel by Marvin Berry and The Starlighters). Or when you were on a tour bus recovering from one hell of a night after you proclaimed to the youth of Topeka that you are a Golden God (Tiny Dancer by Elton John). Or that time when you were walking along the railroad tracks with your 3 best friends on a quest to find a dead body (Lollipop by The Chordettes). Or that rocking church song you taught the nuns while in the witness protection program (I Will Follow Him by The Sisters of St. Katherine's). Or that time you took your top off after exiting the pool, exposing  your breasts to Judge Reinhold in his imagination (Moving in Stereo by The Cars). Or that time you finished filming an episode of your cable access show and you were driving with your buddies to get some coffee and crullers at Stan Mikita's Donuts (Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen). Those are only a few examples from movies. I award you a gold star and a pat on the back if you were able to successfully name all of them. I'm sure that you have many examples from your own life. Today I'm going to share one of mine.

As you already guessed from the video the song that conjures up a memory for me is Saturday in the Park by Chicago. The best part about it is that I fucking hate this song. But I also love it. I heard it on the radio last night as I was driving home from the bar at 130am and I cranked it up. It annoys the hell out of me. It always has. But it is ingrained in my memory as a reminder of one of the greatest days of my year - July 3rd. Ever since I was a small child I've gone down to Milwaukee's Lakefront to watch the city's Independence Day Fireworks. As I got older I started camping overnight with my little brother Timmy and we would be down there for a good 30+ hours. We didn't sleep well the night before and we were always annoyed by a guy who played his drum set underneath the nearby pavilion and drummed along to some rather awful songs including Saturday in the Park. He didn't sing or have any additional band members with him and I don't recall anyone asking him to do it or supporting his actions. He simply played the song on a CD and drummed along. It's as bad as it sounds. 

One thing I hate is people who force things upon others without giving them a choice to avoid it. One example of that is people who push their religion on you. Another is this asshole drummer who forces you to listen to shitty music because he has bigger speakers than you do. It's bullshit. He's bogarting the only power outlet in the area and making us listen to Chicago  and his monotonous drumming, which really isn't any good. Timmy was a musician and a drummer and on one hand he could appreciate someone trying to entertain the crowd, but on the other hand he could see where I was coming from and that this man was pretty much ruining what was otherwise a perfect day. Although I hate this song, it will always make me think of July 3rd at the Lakefront with Timmy and how we used to share that special day together. It's one of many memories that I will never forget and every time Saturday in the Park starts playing I can't help but be incredibly annoyed and filled with joy at the same time. It's a conflict of emotion but that's what makes it so good. I wish it was the 3rd of July. Soon.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 7 - A F****** Parking Spot

There are plenty of things to get upset about in this world - the government, racism, marriage inequality for gay couples, war and violence and the general decay of civilization as we know it. But a f****** parking spot is not one of them. I'm doing this one on speech to text (which censors me) because I'm probably going to rant and swear like a f****** sailor because this is something that really pisses me off. Why do sailors swear so much anyway? Is because they're at sea for so long and don't get any action? Or maybe it's because they're sea sick all the time. I know when I'm sick I don't give a f*** about anything and I just lose my god d*** mind.  But that is not the point right now. One thing that is really f****** drives me bat**** crazy is when someone parks in my parking spot at work. We don't have designated parking spots and it's not like my f****** name is on the ground. I've been parking in the same stupid parking spot for like the last 2 years so I think that gives me the right to park there everyday. I've staked my claim on that mother f*****. Its like Finders Keepers losers weepers b****. I'm like this s*** it's mine.

Lately some god d*** a****** m*********** parks in my god d*** spot and I get here in the morning and I just lose it, just f****** swear like does a god d*** pissed off teenager who just learned all the curse words and says them just because. Son of a b**** ! S*** ! Get your paws off me you d*** dirty ape! You maniacs! D*** you! God d*** you all to hell! If we let this sort of nonsense happen then we let the terrorists win. Well f*** that. I'm more like hey terrorists! Terrorize this. I'll be damned if I'm going to live in a world where terrorists win. And that's the reason I get so upset about my parking spot. To most people its a place to put their car but to me its a reminder that I have to do my part to stave off the end of the world as we know it. I'm doing it for freedom. I'm doing it for the red white and f****** blue. I'm doing it for America. F*** yeah. And any of you little a******* out there who think this s*** is f****** funny parking in my god d*** parking spot I will drop a bomb on you. I will murder you. I will end your life if you think that parking in my spot is a f****** hilarious joke.

There's a lot of s*** in this world that I don't take seriously. I live by one pretty simple model - don't take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive. But this is one thing that I probably will never ease up on. I don't know why I have such a problem with this. Its ridiculous. I should be spending my energy on other things in my life that I do have control over. Like working out so I can drop a couple hundred pounds and look like a normal person. Or figuring out a way to trick somebody into marrying me. Or Having some babies so my mom can ease off my back for not giving her any grandchildren. Or actually advancing in the workplace so that I can lead to more successful life. Or fixing the broken relationships I have with my friends and family. Or getting my mind right so I can get my grind right if you know what I mean. But instead of doing any of that I'm b******* about a f****** parking spot. I must be out of my god d*** mind.

But I got my parking spot today so I don't know why I'm so angry. I'm like Hulk angry. ICEMAN SMASH!! I really have a lot of problems to deal with but instead I just swallow them like sadness. Along with a 1.75 of rum. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. It's a great big beautiful tomorrow! I just hope that I'm not so upset about something so trivial and that I don't swear so god d*** much. Jesus would not approve. I have to work on that getting into Heaven thing. Get in good with the Big Man. Maybe I'll give God my parking spot. That's a good start.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 6 - Weather or Not I Should

Sometimes I am so preoccupied with whether or not I could, I don't stop to think if I should. That of course is a play on the comment made by Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) in Jurassic Park. By now you probably already figured out my fascination with movies. Actually its more like an obsession. Almost every one of these entries in the Write Month has been laced with movie references. That's because I don't go outside much. I think I could handle being a shut in. That's something that I'm trying to change because I've already lived most of the adventures you can do indoors. Outside there are so many wonderful things waiting for us, and I simply need to step out there and find them. I have to stop thinking about doing it and just go out there and do it.

That's easier said than done here in Wisconsin. We have 3 seasons: winter, construction and August. Take today for example. I mean shit, it's June 6 for crying out loud and it's 52 and cloudy. 52!! Now I'm not one that normally complains about the weather because hot and humid doesn't bode well for a big guy like me. Being sweaty and tired is not how I want to spend my day. That's probably why I stay inside all the time. But I'm trying to change that. I want to be like one of you normal people. You always look like you're having a lot of fun outdoors. I made an effort to do so today and I feel better because of it. For 8 hours a day I'm couped up in a cubicle like a lifeless robot and I think it's slowly killing me. I know that I'm more tired than ever and I'm completely bored with my life. So I blame the weather of all things. Might want to start blaming myself.

So to answer the question of whether or not I should do something different -  it is a resounding yes. But the problem remains that I don't know what to do. Baby steps I guess. Every day is another chance to try something new, like going outside instead of being pent up indoors. To stop trying to control everything and just go with the flow. To blame it on something instead of blaming it on the rain. To stop talking about the weather and make chit chat instead. To stop telling the Commander that I make the weather. To change. To be different. To be as open as the outdoors. To breathe non-recycled air. I got a nice head start on Days 1 + 2 of this Month when I went camping and the forecast for the rest of the month is looking quite promising for me leaving the house. Stay tuned folks and I'll let you know how it turned out. I have a feeling we're in for another adventure.

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 5 - It's Only a Game Focker!

It's no secret that I love baseball and the Milwaukee Brewers. I've worked at Miller Park for the last 12 years and I have 2 Brewers tattoos. I have a closet filled with shirts and jerseys that rivals the team store. I wear their apparel almost every day even during the winter. I spend the winters counting down to when Pitchers and Catchers report to Spring Training. I've traveled all around the country to watch them play on the road. My house is adorned with memorabilia from throughout the years. I have a 20-game season ticket pack this year. My name is synonomous with this franchise. All of this you may already know if you've met me if only for a minute. I am a die-hard fan of the Milwaukee Brewers. But that having been said there is one thing that I need to make clear because no one seems to get it - it is only a game. The Milwaukee Brewers and baseball are not my life. They do not define me. I am so much more than "The Brewers Guy".

I know that the latest news of Ryan Braun being accused of using PEDs and his involvement with the Biogenesis Clinic in Miami has everyone talking. And they all want to know my opinion because I'm "The Brewers Guy". You want my opinion? I don't know and I don't care. There it is, plain and simple. Who gives a shit what people do? Whether or not they lie, cheat, steal, hurt people or other things like that. It's not my problem and not my job to judge them. If they come after me or my family then we have a problem. This Ryan Braun thing does not affect me one bit. Well, that's not entirely accurate. If he gets suspended, does it hurt the team I root for? Yes. Does it affect my life? In a way because it affects attendance at Miller Park and I don't make as much money there. But I do get by just fine with my day job. So does it really affect my life? Not really. Because my life is filled with so many other wonderful things that are more important than a bunch of guys playing a child's game for millions of dollars.

That's all I'm going to say about the Braun thing so don't ask. But I have plenty of other things to say during The Write Month. Actually I will have something new to say every day so make sure to check back often here on the blog. And if you think that I'm just "The Brewers Guy" then get ready for an education. I'm about as random and creative as they get and if there is one thing that I have that separates me from everyone else is my boundless imagination. You might think I'm bragging here but I suppose that I am. I am proud of who I am and the  attributes that I have. I am lucky to have been blessed with many things that make me an individual. And I am more than willing to share those things with others. This isn't a game. This is life, and we're all in it. In games you can hit the restart button or clear off the pieces and start anew. You only get one shot at life so make it count. Do something new every day. Share a laugh or a story. Distract someone from the troubles that are weighing them down. That's what I intend to do. I'm going to make things Write this month and I invite you to come along. That is unless you're too busy playing the game...

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 4 - A Center for Ants

This morning as I was walking out to my car I stepped over an ant hill. What is this, a center for ants? And it was. This was a place where ants could convene to talk about the topics that are troubling ant society. One of the most important topics has to be staying alive. Ants face mortality at every given moment because practically everything in their world is thousands of times bigger than them. The must live in constant fear of being stepped on, swept away by a cool breeze, flooded out by a few rain drops, sprayed with poison or eaten by other animals. How could you know that danger is out there and still go about your day to day working and raising a family? And yes I know, humans face danger every time they leave the house, drive their cars, get on a plane and do extreme things. But for the most part we do it with no fear. How can ants possibly do the same?

Everything in the ant’s world can quickly come crashing down around it. How many times has an ant been out hanging their laundry on the line and suddenly their whites are covered with ant blood? Too many times to count. As humans there are plenty of things bigger than us like trees, skyscrapers and mountains. But Mount Everest never killed anyone that didn’t ask for it. No innocent people have lost their lives on that slope. A mountain doesn’t just decimate an entire population below it. Yes I know volcanoes erupt and bury an entire town. Earthquakes, tsunamis, fire and other natural disasters claim seemingly more lives every year. It’s a wonder that natural disasters plus disease, famine and crime haven’t eradicated the entire human race.

But we’re still here. Ants are still here. The only way that makes sense is that they don’t live in fear either. It’s like Roland Tembo said in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, “Remember that chap about twenty years ago? I forget his name. Climbed Everest without any oxygen, came down nearly dead. When they asked him, they said why did you go up there to die? He said I didn't, I went up there to live.” We step outside of the comfort of our homes because we must. We throw caution into the wind to reap the rewards of taking a chance. We dangle on the edge. We tip toe the line. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes we win. But if the ant never leaves the hill in fear of the outside world he will certainly starve to death. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather die living than live dying. That’s what the ant does.

And before you say I don’t know what it feels like to be an ant let me regale you with this one example – this is the 2nd time I’ve written this entry. The first time it deleted on my phone before I could post it. Now it’s not exactly life or death but I got a prime example of how something so totally out of your control (technology to me, everything else to the ants) can change things in an instant. I’m lucky that it was just my genius first post was deleted and not my life. I have many more that I could share because although I’m big in a physical sense, there are many times in my life that I’ve felt so small and crawled into my hill to hide. We all do this. We are all ants in a way. But in many ways we are something so much bigger.

Ants aren’t so lucky. They will always be small. So there isn’t much I can do to help you my ant friends. I won’t go out of my way to kill you, but I won’t go out of my way to not kill you. If it happens it was a matter of circumstance. I meant no intention of ill will, no malice nor vengeance. I am sorry. This is the way the world is and I apologize. Most people don’t think about the world around them but for a moment this morning when I stepped over the ant hill instead of on it. I’d like to think I made a difference. I’d like to think I care about the ants. I’d like to think they matter. I’d like to think I matter. I’m not an ant. But still I feel so small.



 - pookon -

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 3 - To Be Fortune-ate

Yesterday I got a fortune cookie. Eddie bought me some Chinese food because I happened to be over at Mom's for dinner. I had been doing some yard work trying to keep the Mothership looking nice and pristine for the summer. And it looks great thank you very much. I didn't eat my fortune cookie last night because I knew it would make a good topic for today. Since June is Write Every Day Month here on the blog, I knew if I found something to write about I best hold it until I need it. So today I ate my cookie and read this fortune:

If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life.

Now I'm no expert, but isn't that the same as, "If you can dream it, you can do it"? If so, then I get it. I'm all about this idea because when you refuse to accept the possibilities you can achieve then you limit yourself. Each person is capable of so many things if they work hard and never give up on their dreams. I'm sure there are some unreasonable things that I shape in my mind (like a version of Natalie Portman who is madly in love with me) that I will never find in my life but who knows? I'm probably not going to spend the rest of my life with Natalie Portman but I could find a lookalike who I can trick into falling madly in love with me and it would be almost the same. So yeah, it could happen. I just have to do it.

I'm just not a do-er. I'm a try-er. Yoda would fucking hate me. Good thing that Muppet is dead or else he'd probably allow me to turn to the Dark Side so that he could decapitate me with his light saber. And in case you are just figuring it out now, yes - I love Star Wars. But that's not all I love. I also love to write which is why this month should bring about so many new ideas and insight into my life that you probably weren't aware of. Shit I don't even know if I am. I'm constantly exploring the inner parts of my mind and seeing what exists there. It's going to be a wild month so I hope you come along for the ride.

As for my fortune I'm going to keep that in mind. I can shape a lot of ideas in there and I don't think many of them have come to fruition... yet. There's still time and every day is another chance to make things happen. I think of life in the physical sense for the most part but when I also consider the imaginary oasis that sits in my brain maybe all of the things I've been dreaming are already happening. And now my life just got a whole lot more exciting. For the next 27 days I'm going to try and understand how and why. And maybe just begin to realize how incredible this life really is. I'm shaping that in my mind right now. Now I'm off to find it.

-pookon-

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 2 - Fire. I Could Look at a Fire for Hours

Last night I literally looked at the fire for hours. I watched it from its' inception until it was merely ashes. And I could do this all day, everyday. I don't really understand why. I love fire. Even more than I love some people in this world sadly. Fire just has a certain quality that blows my mind. I can't explain it nor can I understand it. Fire f****** rocks. This voice to text thing won't let me say swear words. f*** that. You see? God damn son of a b**** . Hey a****** why won't you let me sware? Don't censor me. You can't do that to me; I have a family. Charles Manson had a family. No f****** s*** lady, does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza? Ah, I could play with this for hours. That's what she said. Provides for hours that's what she said. Provides for hours? This may be the day that we feared when a guy takes over. A guy? I said A. I., like artificial intelligence. f****** computers. Hold on to your butts.

This post is already rife with movie references so I probably should explain the title if you didn't get it by now. It's from one of my favorite movies Face Off and Nicolas Cage says in a rather creepy voice, "Peach. I could eat a peach for hours." Classic stuff man. With the way the wind keeps shifting it makes me want to yell like Nicolas Cage in The Rock, "GLASS OR PLASTIC!?! GLASS OR PLASTIC?!? BECAUSE IF THIS ROCKET GOES OFF AND THE WINDS CHANGE DIRECTION, YOU'RE EITHER GOING TO END UP IN A GLASS JAR OR A PLASTIC BAG!!!!" Shit, I watch way too many movies. And I have an unusual fascination with Nicolas Cage.

But that's why I'm out here camping today. To get away from the norm. And I'm not talking McDonald. I want to be roommates with that brilliant bastard. I mean my normal life. That's what this weekend was all about. Step outside the normal comforts and "ruff, ruff, rough it" (because my Dad's dog Sweet Lou is here) and leave all of that unnecessary stuff behind. Go back to nature. And pee all over it, savage style. Yeeeeeaaaaahhh!!! Take that outdoors. I've obviously lost my mind. Waking up at 6am and drinking whiskey right away will do that to you. So I guess I'm going to just leave it at that. AHHH!! NOT THE BEES!! NOT THE BEES!!!!

-pookon-

www.pookon.com

The Write Month: June 1 - Write Every Day Month

How many times do I reference the fact that I don't write as often as I should? Enough that if I stopped bitching about it and wrote instead I wouldn't have that problem. I am a writer. I have been since I was a little kid. I was always fascinated by stories and I couldn't wait to write some of my own. But I was always reserved because it looks so difficult. I'm not a writer, I would say, those people are brilliant and creative. Little did I know that it doesn't take brilliance and creativity to write something. It just takes an idea and something to record it on. And that's it. When I figured that out my pen never left the page and transitioned to hands never leaving the keyboard thanks to modern technology. But I kind of want to go back to the old ways.

Not a feather tip dunked in ink like John Hancock, but just a pen and some paper. INDEPENDENCE! SIT DOWN JOHN! SIT DOWN JOHN! Will somebody open up a window? There's too many flies. I found some of my old journals and the thing that stands out is that you can tell how I felt at the time by analyzing my handwriting. It's something that is lost in the digital age like the lack of nonverbal communication in social media and text messages. I see the irony of mentioning it on an internet blog post but in my journals my handwriting would change if I had a couple of drinks or if I wrote fast to get my ideas out on the page before I forgot them. There's so much character in those journals; so much life. I need to go back to writing on a daily basis.

So that's why I'm calling June "Write Every Day Month." I'm sure that's not the official theme of this month but it is for me. I'll try to throw some things on here for you if you want to follow along with my adventure but like I said before, I really want to get back to the old school writings I used to do before the internet. As much as I love the net, it has changed everything. Some good, some bad. This is just an introduction to the month. I would say more but right now I'm camping and I promised myself that I would stay off my phone this weekend. Whoops. So I'm going to shut this contraption off, drink some whiskey and try not to start the god damn forest on fire. Smokey the Bear wouldn't like that shit. No Sir. Smokey the Bear would be pissed off. And believe me, you don't want to piss off a bear who wears a hat and carries a shovel.

-pookon-

www.pookon.com