The Write Month: June 30 - A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Today is June 30th and the end of The Write Month. It's time for me to sit down with you and give some of my closing thoughts. What have we learned this month neighbors? I didn't know how to properly close this segment of my life so I turned to a great friend and mentor of mine - Mr. Fred Rogers, a man who I have never met but has been a part of my life since I was a small child. He had a way of talking like he was speaking only to you and said things in a very clear and easy way. There was no double meaning. Nothing was left up for interpretation. Mr. Rogers doesn't insult you by being smug. He was a straight shooter and above all left you with a comforting feeling that everything was going to be all right. 

I think that is the number 1 thing that I have learned this month. There have been so many challenges and I have talked about a lot of things both good and bad. You've probably learned a thing or two about who I am and the struggles I go through. I know you are facing a struggle of your own. We all are. But everything is going to be all right. When I first started this month it seemed like a monumental task. Write every day? That's insane! How can I possibly come up with so much material? And balance 2 jobs, my family and friends, taking care of my cat, paying bills, being responsible, having fun, going on trips, staying sane and most importantly, taking care of myself. Think about how many things you do at the same time. Do you ever wonder how you do it? I do. How am I still alive? How did I make it this far in life? How did I have this much success? How have I been able to do so many amazing things in my life? I still don't get it and I doubt I ever will. But that's ok to me because I don't think that we are supposed to understand life. We're just supposed to live it and enjoy ourselves. Keep it simple. That's what Mr. Rogers does.

Today is a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Most days this month have been when you think about it. Some of the things I thought were important or too difficult to accomplish were either pretty trivial or easy to do. I have to stop sweating the little things and relax. Stay in the moment. I need to realize that if I put my mind to it, I can achieve anything. I need to keep on doing that. I can write 30 articles (and 30 well thought out and poignant articles at that) in 30 days with no problems. That means that I can accomplish other goals if I stick to them and tell the "world" so that they can hold me accountable. I'm sure that if I would have missed a day one of my friends/family members would've let me know about it. But I didn't miss a day. And I'm quite proud of myself. And I know Mr. Rogers would be proud of me too.

I watched some YouTube clips from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood and admired how simple yet effective they were. He had a way of reaching right out to you and hitting right at the heart. I can't be that succinct. I talk too much and write too much without actually saying anything. I know that but I just can't help it. It's not my style. But Mr. Rogers sure has some sweet style. I'm digging the sweater/cardigan over the button down shirt and tie. I always remember the opening to this show how he comes in the house, changes from his jacket to a sweater than changes his shoes. Everyone knows this and probably sings along with the theme song. But you want to know what I realized for the first time ever while watching those clips today? After he gives his final message at the end he starts singing the song again. He goes to change his shoes, takes those off but he doesn't put his original pair of shoes back on. He then walks to the closet and changes from the sweater back to his jacket. Immediately after that he walks out the door NOT WEARING ANY SHOES! I'm serious. I watched the end of at least 10 episodes to verify that. That's crazy man. It's a good thing that he lives in a real nice neighborhood where there is no glass or sharp objects on the ground for him to cut his feet on. I don't know what to think anymore. Mind = blown. (Upon closer inspection it looks like he is wearing slip on shoes when he enters the house and therefor can just slip back into them after taking off his tennis shoes. The camera never shows him doing this nor do they show his feet as he leaves the door. Maybe he doesn't put his original shoes back on. Maybe he does. I guess your mind is given the opportunity to figure that one out on your own. On second thought I'm thinking he slips back into his shoes. Mr. Rogers is too classy and by the book to walk around the neighborhood in only socks.)

Did you ever grow anything in the garden of your mind? You can grow ideas in the garden your mind. That's what I did this month. I took a small idea called The Write Month and look what it grew into. This has been an incredible journey and it was fun for me to see where I would go every single day. I only planned about half of these articles in advance and the other ones just happened as a result of me being alive and embracing the world around me. Ideas are all around us. Inspiration is waiting around every corner. You have to put yourself in a position to find them. You must be physically, mentally and emotionally ready to accept new things into your life and roll with the changes. I don't know if I am there yet but I'm getting close. Thank you for coming along with me on this one month journey and reading what I have written. It really does mean a lot to me that you care enough to check out my random ramblings. If you didn't get to check them all out simply click on the links on the right side in From the Archives. I've done plenty of interesting things here on the blog and I can guarantee you there will be plenty more in the future. So come back often neighbors.

It's such a good feeling to know you're alive. It's such a happy feeling you're growing inside. And when you wake up ready to say, "I think I'll make a snappy new day." It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling. A feeling you know that I'll be back, when the day is new. And I'll have more ideas for you. And you'll have things you'll want to talk about... I will too.

 - pookon -

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The Write Month: June 29 - Lights, Camera and Plenty of Action!

Well here we are on June 29th. The Write Month is coming to a close. Tomorrow I'm going to do one of those "what did it all mean" or "what have I learned" type retrospectives. I knew I was going to write that article from Day 1 as soon as I made my first list of possible topics for the month. The idea for today's article came to me on the 5th day of this adventure after back to back posts had movie references in their titles (June 4 - A Center for Ants and June 5 - It's Only a Game Focker). I watch movies way too much. It's my drug of choice. Movies to me are like TV or reading is to other people. I watch at least 1 movie per day. In fact I'm watching The Rock right now as I am typing this. I had noticed that in the first few days I dropped a movie reference somewhere in each article up until that point. Some of them were blatant like the ones that I just mentioned while a few of them were a little more subtle. After that I made it a point to drop a movie reference in every single blog post that I have written this month.  I wonder if you even noticed that I was doing it. How in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE did you not pick up on that!?! The only reason I ask is because that kind of information would be really helpful for me in our current situation MAYBE!!! I'm sorry that I yelled at you. It's just that I've just been under a lot of stress this month with working 2 jobs, hanging with friends and family, living adventures, dealing with drama, getting little to no sleep and still finding the time to crank out a new entry every single day. Look, I'm just a travel specialist. Most of the time, I work in a little cubicle box and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Pontiac, a red one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most challenging endeavors the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?!?

I know you don't watch nearly as many movies as I do and that my references may have slipped through the cracks or gone over your head. So allow me to bring you up to speed. After you read through these you should have a better understanding of the reference. You can go back to the article and see how it was used and if it makes any more sense now that you know which movie it is from and the context in which it was used. Obviously if you haven't seen the movie then it still will not make any sense. But I encourage you to check out all of these films and maybe someday you can try to figure out what makes me tick and see how movies influenced my behavior. My parents had a lot to do with my upbringing and they raised me with good morals, a strong faith in God and all of the opportunities to grow into a positive and civil member of society. So what the hell happened to me? I do blame that society and college for turning me into the monster than I am today but movies certainly played their part in shaping me as well. Now what do you say we cut the chit-chat A-HOLE!! Let's do what we came here to do. Quiet on the set. Roll film... ACTION!

Below you will find a link (in sea green) to every article that I have written this month and I will isolate the movie quote or the reference that I did in each article (in blue). Click on the movie title (in red) to go to its' IMDB page for more information on that movie. My comments will be in black trying to explain why I used them or why they are important to me.

June 1 - Write Every Day Month

"But I kind of want to go back to the old ways. Not a feather tip dunked in ink like John Hancock, but just a pen and some paper. INDEPENDENCE! SIT DOWN JOHN! SIT DOWN JOHN! Will somebody open up a window? There's too many flies." This is from the musical 1776. It stars William Daniels (Boy Meets World's Mr. Feeny) as John Adams. This was a movie/musical that Timmy loved and we watched it before the Green Bay Packers Superbowl in 2011. This was part of one of the most epic nights in my life that I can barely remember and it will always hold a soft spot in my heart.

June 2 - Fire. I Could Look at a Fire for Hours

The title is a riff on the "Peach. I could eat a peach for hours" line that Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage) says in Face/Off. 

Then I randomly use the line "No f****** s*** lady, does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?" which is what John McClane (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard says to the Police Dispatcher when she informs him that the line he is using is for police emergencies only. 

"Hold on to your butts" is what Ray Arnold (Samuel L. Jackson) says in Jurassic Park before rebooting the computers. 

"GLASS OR PLASTIC!?! GLASS OR PLASTIC?!? BECAUSE IF THIS ROCKET GOES OFF AND THE WINDS CHANGE DIRECTION, YOU'RE EITHER GOING TO END UP IN A GLASS JAR OR A PLASTIC BAG!!!!" is a classic Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) freak out in The Rock. 

"AHHH!! NOT THE BEES!! NOT THE BEES!!!!" is one of the all-time greatest Nicolas Cage freak out moments when he (as Edward Malus in The Wicker Man) is covered in bees . Why? I have no idea. I haven't seen the movie but the Youtube clip is priceless.

June 3 - To Be Fortune-ate

"If you can dream it, you can do it" is what Jimmy MacElroy believes in Blades of Glory.

"I just have to do it. I'm just not a do-er. I'm a try-er. Yoda would fucking hate me." Obviously this is mimicking some Yoda talk from Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back.

June 4 - A Center for Ants

The title of this post comes from Zoolander when Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) inspects a model of The Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too. Mugatu (Will Ferrell) presents it to him and he calls it a center for ants, asking how we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

I gave this one away. You're welcome. "It’s like Roland Tembo said in The Lost World: Jurassic Park, “Remember that chap about twenty years ago? I forget his name. Climbed Everest without any oxygen, came down nearly dead. When they asked him, they said why did you go up there to die? He said I didn't, I went up there to live.”"

June 5 - It's Only a Game Focker!

I gave my opinion on the whole Ryan Braun situation and basically said I didn't care because it's only a game. That statement always makes me think of the pool volleyball scene in Meet the Parents. Well if only Florence Nightingale over here could play a little defense... It was a big shot!

June 6 - Weather or Not I Should

"Sometimes I am so preoccupied with whether or not I could, I don't stop to think if I should." That is a play on the comment made by Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) in Jurassic Park.

The following comments are from Groundhog Day. "To stop talking about the weather and make chit chat instead. To stop telling the Commander that I make the weather." Phil Connors (Bill Murray) is such an asshole in the first half of that movie. One of my all-time favorites made better by the fact that I've been to Punxsutawney, PA.

June 7 - A F****** Parking Spot

"Get your paws off me you d*** dirty ape! You maniacs! D*** you! God d*** you all to hell!" is obviously from Planet of the Apes.

"If we let this sort of nonsense happen then we let the terrorists win. Well f*** that. I'm more like hey terrorists! Terrorize this." The terrorize this part is from Team America: World Police which is a work of absolute genius from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park. It's easily the best marionette movie I've ever seen.

June 8 - Saturday in the Park

"It's weird how a certain song can conjure up a memory and make you think of a specific moment in your life that will forever be connected to that song. Like when you kissed your wife for the very first time at The Enchantment Under the Sea Dance (Earth Angel by Marvin Berry and The Starlighters in Back to the Future). Or when you were on a tour bus recovering from one hell of a night after you proclaimed to the youth of Topeka that you are a Golden God (Tiny Dancer by Elton John in Almost Famous). Or that time when you were walking along the railroad tracks with your 3 best friends on a quest to find a dead body (Lollipop by The Chordettes in Stand by Me). Or that rocking church song you taught the nuns while in the witness protection program (I Will Follow Him by The Sisters of St. Katherine's in Sister Act). Or that time you took your top off after exiting the pool, exposing your breasts to Judge Reinhold in his imagination (Moving in Stereo by The Cars in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Or that time you finished filming an episode of your cable access show and you were driving with your buddies to get some coffee and crullers at Stan Mikita's Donuts (Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen in Wayne's World). Those are only a few examples from movies."

June 9 - Do the Write Thing

While the phrase "do the right thing" is used quite often I used it in reference to the Spike Lee Joint of the same name. Even though I have never seen this movie I am aware of it which makes it ok to reference it in my blog. Those are the rules.

June 10 - Back to the Writing Tablet

"I'm not going to tell you what I wrote in there (my journal) yesterday because that is for my eyes only. And maybe God's too. And that peeping Tom who keeps judging my wardrobe. But let's just say that there was some ghost talk about unfinished business, Casper-style." Unfinished business is one of the themes of Casper and one of the reasons Dr. James Harvey (Bill Pullman) won't stop searching for his dead wife.

"Writing keeps me sane. If I had to keep all my thoughts and feelings cooped up inside my head I'm pretty sure that my head would explode. You ever see that scene in Scanners when that dude's head blew up? It would kind of be like that. I don't want that to happen." This one is a two-for. The line "you ever seen that scene in Scanners..." is from Wayne's World but it also references the movie Scanners when that dude's head blows up. A classic scene.

"I don't want that to happen. Neither would Marvin the Janitor at Washington Dulles International Airport. He'll be damned if he's gonna clean up that mess. So for Marv's sake, for your Daughter's sake, I'm just going to keep on writing." This is another two-for. Marvin (Tom Bower) is the janitor who helps John McClane (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard 2. The "for your Daughter's sake" is from Tommy Boy when Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley) tells the story of the crazy glue sniffing guarantee fairy, which is one of my favorite scenes in movie filled with quotable lines and favorite scenes.

June 11 - This Is The End

I had just watched the movie This is The End and it was one of the funnier movies I have seen in recent years. In it the actors play themselves and make references to the movies that they starred in. My only reference to movies in this entry was the fact that I watched this movie but I did reference some articles that I had written about The Rapture or The End of the World which no doubt contain other movie references.

June 12 - I Don't Consort with Nefarious Characters

"I try to be badass by swearing in public and in front of my mother but when I am scolded I just run and hide. I'm afraid I'm just not very good at... confrontations." George McFly (Crispin Glover) in Back to the Future is another person who isn't very good at confrontations and until he saved Lorraine Baines (Lea Thompson), he had never stood up to Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson) in his life.

June 13 - Driving On

"Has there ever been a song that really spoke to you and described a certain time in your life? For Anita Miller it was Simon and Garfunkel's "America". It explained why she was leaving home to become a stewardess. The song expressed exactly what she wanted to say in words and it made perfect sense at that moment in her life." Music plays a big part for all of the characters in Almost Famous, a movie that Jenny, Timmy and I adore. There are so many great moments in this film and so many fantastic lines. To this day it is still one of the best written movies I have ever seen and you don't need to be a writer to appreciate that.

June 14 - The Drive to Stay Alive Ep. 19 - Operation Dawn

"This was a pretty good day. It wasn't the Virgin Islands and I didn't meet a girl. We didn't eat lobster, nor did we drink pina coladas. At sunset we definitely didn't make love like sea otters. I didn't get that day, but this was a day that I wouldn't mind living over and over. How's that for a glass is half full kinda guy?" My day wasn't like Phil Connor's pretty good day that he  would have rather lived over and over again instead of Groundhog Day. But still my day was pretty freakin' sweet.  

June 15 - Just Call Me Random

"Sorry for the crudity of the picture but it is a picture of a picture (and like Doug #4 in Multiplicity, when you make a copy of a copy it's just not as sharp as the original) but this picture was the inspiration for this post in a way." I love the movie Multiplicity. Michael Keaton is fantastic. And so are the other 3 Michael Keatons in the movie.

"My brother James Reck: What do you dislike about Wrigley Field? Me: I'm going to use Russell Hammond's answer when he was asked what he liked about music, "To begin with, everything." Is this a serious question?" Russel Hammond (Billy Crudup) is the heart and soul of Almost Famous and is one of the greatest movie characters of all time in my opinion. 

"And as my final minutes approached I would probably say a prayer to God. I've lost my way in faith in the recent years and although I don't go to church often I still believe in God and the existence of Heaven. I would ask my Guardian Angel (Timmy) to welcome me there and with my last words I would hope to say something inspirational or hilarious. Something my family would remember for all time. But knowing me, I would probably quote a movie. I'd pour a shot of whiskey, raise it up in the air and say, "Here's to ya Blacksmith!", drink my last sip, smile one last smile and prepare for the June's Blanket Reunion Tour in the sky." Before I take a shot, I raise the glass in the air and shout, "Here's to ya Blacksmith!" just like the Old West dude in the saloon in Back to the Future Part III. I can't help it. I used to say a prayer and drink to World Peace but now I always wish Doc Brown the best of luck in the future.

"I've worn lots of shoes. I bet if I think about it real hard I can remember my first pair of shoes. Momma said they'd take me everywhere. They were my magic shoes. It's funny how you remember some things but some things you can't. I remember my bus ride on the first day of school. You know it's funny what a young man recollects? I don't remember being born, I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She was like an angel. We were like peas and carrots." Matt Werner asked me for my first memory. I couldn't remember it. But I could remember Forrest Gump's. 

"The Internet: When I say "pie", what is the first word that pops into your head? Me: Punch. That was an easy one. Thanks to South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut I will forever associate punch with pie. Want to know the secret to getting more people to attend your event? Tell them you'll have punch and pie. More people will come if they think you have punch and pie."

June 16 - The Koala Punch

"I have a real animal living at my house and I would never ever punch my cat Korben Dallas in the face. But if he ever put on a pair of glasses and started speaking with an accent I might consider it. But I would not be able to punch him because he would probably pull a gun on me and ask if anyone else wanted to negotiate. That's what Korben Dallas does. If I ever came so close as to raise my hand to him, I could see my cat saying, "You wanna play it soft? We'll play it soft. You wanna play it hard? Let's play it hard." And then he kicks the shit out of me. You don't mess with Korben Dallas. He only speaks two languages - English and Bad English. But only if he is wearing glasses." I named my cat Korben Dallas after Bruce Willis' character in The Fifth Element. I absolutely love this movie and me and the cat often sit down and watch it so that I can show him where his name comes from. Timmy loved this movie too and wanted to name his kid Korben. Timmy never got the chance to have kids and at the rate I'm going I don't think I will either. So I honored his memory by giving my cat that name. RFT.

June 17 - The Wrong Guy in the Wrong Place at the Write Time

"It seems to me that I'm always the wrong guy in the wrong place at the write time. Story of my life. Let me explain. I'm always the wrong guy. I know I haven't lived up to my potential both inside and out because I can do so much better with what I have been given. No one is excited when I appear on the scene. People are like oh it's that guy. I thought it was gonna be He-Man." This is another two-for. The line wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time is the story of John McClane's (Bruce Willis) life in Die Hard and the multiple sequels. The "I thought it was gonna be He-Man" is the disappointment of a child in Ghostbusters II when they arrived at his birthday party. Fucking kid. I wish I was so lucky.

"I've been living a lie my entire life and I've forgotten which path I have chosen and how deep the rabbit hole goes. I know what you're thinking right now - why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill? Because the world is fake. I would rather see it for what is than not be able to see it at all." I was watching The Matrix either the night before or that night when I was watching this. Even if I hadn't it would always be on my mind because it was one of the most influential sci-fi/action movies of the 2000's.

"I know I'm a damn good writer and I take a lot of pride in what I do. It's the only good thing in my life and the only thing that could possibly get me out of whatever self created hell I've been living in. So stayed tuned to the blog for more nonsense during June and I promise you that even though I may be the wrong guy in the wrong place, here on my blog it will always be the write time. Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfucker!" I had to close with John McClane's signature line because it wouldn't be Die Hard without saying it. (I'm looking at you Live Free or Die Hard).

June 18 - A Mild Addiction

"Let it be known for the record that I speak for myself and can’t even figure out what the hell is happening in my life most of the time. There will never be a time when I speak on behalf of the human race, animal kingdom, league of midgets, circus act The Flying Scoleri Brothers, Genie Childcare on 51st and Teutonia, the original Black Ranger Zack Taylor (played by Walter Emmanuel Jones, Wayne Brady’s half-brother) from Season 1 of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Future Farmers of America (The FFA) or any of the other members of this Universe that I don't have time to mention right now." I wanted to include a high flying circus act in my random list of people who I don't speak on behalf of. The first duo that came to mind is the Scoleri Brothers from Ghostbusters II. Although they aren't acrobats they do fly now that they are ghosts so it kind of makes sense. 

"And that leads to my first semi-addiction. We're not talking about trucks here people but I do have a strange affinity for Optimus Prime. I'm talking about some of the cargo those trucks haul - delicious food." Optimus Prime is the leader of the Autobots. You might have seen the Transformers movies about the robots in disguise because they have made billions of dollars. This was a real throwaway joke but it would be awesome if someone did have a semi-addiction. 

"I guess I could also can say that I have a gambling problem. But I still wouldn't classify it as an addiction because it's not traditional in the way that you think. I usually only gamble with my life, never with my money." I'm sure a lot of people have used the line "I only gamble with my life, never my money" but everything I know comes from the movies. So to my knowledge the line comes from Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) in The Mummy. I try to live my life this way but the quest for fortune and glory usually leads me to the temple of doom which are the casinos.

"I get caught up in all of the loud noises and flashing lights. I become a spectacle as I cheer on the bonus game. When I win I jump out of my chair, dancing around in a circle slapping my ass like Happy Gilmore after he sinks a big putt." I can only imagine what this looks like to the people around me. I really am a spectacle and I can guarantee you some people just stare and  shake their heads in awe like Lee Trevino does in Happy Gilmore.

June 19 - To The Moon and Back

"I've always been fascinated by outer space, planets, moons, the stars and the possibilities that exist if we could ever go to infinity and beyond." Sometimes I wish I was like Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Tim Allen) in Toy Story. Not a toy. The real thing. I want to go to infinity and beyond. I have always wondered what is in that beyond section... 

"What a lonely feeling that must be. To feel so small, so insignificant. But at the same time you must feel so mighty like a god that has done the impossible. To exist in an environment where survival is not humanly possible. To conquer an insurmountable goal and boldly go where no man has gone before." I grew up on multiple versions of Star Trek thanks to my Dad but my favorite will always be The Next Generation. I just love me some Captain Jean-Luc Picard. And the Reading Rainbow dude. Hell I love all of them. But not as much as I love those fuckers from Star Wars.

June 20 - Inaction Figure

"I spent way too many hours in the basement or living room in this fantasy world but I don't regret any of those "wasted hours". When I was recreating Jurassic Park or taking the Millennium Falcon through the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs the other neighborhood kids were playing sports or chasing girls." Star Wars will always be my favorite. I had all of the toys and I grew up watching the movies on VHS. I saw them all for the first time on the big screen in the late 90's when they released the Special Editions of Episodes IV, V and VI. I waited in anticipation for Star Wars Episode I. I bought them all when they first first came out on DVD. I bought them again on Bluray. I have a Rebel Alliance tattoo. I can't wait until Episode VII comes out in 2015. I'll be there on opening night. You can tell I'm a bit of a fan. Oh, and Han Solo definitely shot first. Everyone knows that.

"Where is the woman that I love? She's not in my apartment. I can tell you that much. She's never been here. She's always been out there. I'm pretty sure I met her once a few years ago and went through a period of time when there was plenty of action. I was outside of my comfort zone. I lived for a change. But I screwed it up big time. I didn't make the move when I should have. But by the time I figured it all out she was gone. She was the girl. I know that now. So I've spent every day since then Chasing Amy, so to speak. It's kept me from being an action figure." This is my reworking of Silent Bob's speech in Chasing Amy to suit my needs. I'm a huge fan of Kevin Smith and I adore all of his movies. Yes, even Jersey Girl. Since he constantly references his own movies within his movies and his favorite films like Jaws and Star Wars, I felt the need to reference his movies within my writing. An homage if you will.

June 21 - Get the Fork Outta Here!

"You might say that you need a fork to hold your steak while you cut it, or to twirl your pasta, or to pick up the lettuce in the bowl or to comb your hair if you are the Little Mermaid... with the exception of a few times when I grew my hair out I keep my hair nice and short, which makes it perfectly manageable when I'm devotin' full time for floatin' under the sea." Any one that grew up in the 90's thought Ariel, the Little Mermaid was hot. What! No! I meant that any one that grew up in the 90's sang along with this movie and tried to comb their hair with a fork. Admit it you did it. You filthy land lubber.

"I don't know why I am this way. It would be one thing if I grew up as the brother of The Blue Raja and I had to dodge forks so much that it literally and mentally scarred me for life. In college at UW Oshkosh I actually got quite accurate at flinging forks into the wall at the end of the hallway by my dorm room. If I would have taken my training a little more seriously I could have cleaned up both High and Algoma streets and kept the riffraff off of campus." The Blue Raja (Hank Azaria) was part of the ragtag superhero team in Mystery Men. His "super power" is the ability to hurl forks with incredible speed and precision. Not exactly super strength, the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound and to be faster than a speeding bullet, but it is more than you and I can do. Unless you are my Mother who is a ninja.

"I grew tired of forks and started my love affair with the spoon. I know that little bald headed kid said there is no spoon but he's still plugged in to the machine, so what the hell does he know? Copper-top motherfucker." Here we have another reference from The Matrix. There is no spoon is commonly known quote from the movie and at one point Morpheus holds up a Duracell battery, explaining to Neo that human beings have been regulated to that.

June 22 - It Just Hits You, Like a Bolt of Lightning

"It's not science, when you find the right idea it just hits you. It's like lightning." Marty says this to Doc Brown (replacing idea with girl) after he fails to see how someone can fall in love at first glance in Back to the Future Part III. 

"I need some kind of white noise to help me fall asleep. Most nights it is the TV playing a movie that I've seen 100 times. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever." That movie that I alluded to is the movie that I watch more than any one person should - The Replacements. The great Shane Falco said this to his teammates in the huddle right before going out and winning the big game that would clinch them a spot in the playoffs.

"Storms happen. Did I see that coming? Nope. Did I plan on writing this article? Nope. But when could I predict the weather, let alone the future? Both are so unpredictable. In fact I don't know if I want to live in a world where we know how everything is going to play out ahead of time. I don't want to be able to say that it's too bad the post office isn't as efficient as the weather service." There are 2 amended quotes from Back to the Future Part II in here. This is my favorite movie trilogy (sorry Star Wars but you can still be my favorite 6 movie series) and you've probably noticed that I mentioned these movies several times already.

June 23 - The Drunken Squirrel

There are way too many movie references in this article to list them all. I spend a lot of time talking about Short Circuit and Short Circuit 2 and there's even a Super Mario Bros. shout-out in there. But that's only in the first half of this drunken ramble. The second half deals with my unusual fascination with David Bowie's mooseknuckle and Jennifer Connelly, both who appear in one of my favorite movies of all time Labyrinth. At the end I even manage to sneak in a little Rachael Leigh Cook,who was another actress whom I pined over until I realized that my true love in life was Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. At the same time.

June 24 - Do You Know Fess Parker?

Do you know Fess Parker? He was an actor most famous for his roles as Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone. I had no idea who he was until Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker brought him up during one of the funniest half innings of baseball I have ever listened to. Not quite a movie reference but more of an actor reference but I had to get something in there to keep up the running gag.

June 25 - The Night Shane Falco Saved Korben Dallas

The entire article is about The Replacements and how I am forever in the debt of Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves). If I wasn't watching that movie that night, who knows what would have happened.

"I had no idea where Korben Dallas was. And then I heard his cries coming from the one place that I didn't look - outside. My heart raced and my mind went to the worst possible scenario. I ran outside. I flew like the wind, with winged sandals on my feet." While that last sentence is a common phrase associated with the Greek God Hermes, the movie that I associate it with is The Legend of Bagger Vance. It is one of my favorite sports movies and in my opinion Will Smith's best performance. Matt Damon is also fantastic in it, but then again, when isn't he?

"He acted like nothing was wrong. I stayed up with him for the next hour or so to make sure he was ok. He was fine. Just fine. Someone out there took good care of him. He didn't get a scratch. I promise. Not a scratch. Someone out there is looking out for me." This one probably flew under the radar as far as a movie reference. The "not a scratch" comes from a conversation between Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi. Han is letting Lando borrow the Millennium Falcon because it is the fastest ship in the fleet. He is worried he may never see her again but allows his friend to use his ship on one condition - that he return it without a scratch. Lando does get a little more than a scratch on it but when he returned it he was able to smooth talk Han with his soothing voice. And a Colt 45.

June 26 - We Fear Change

"Hey Scott - I'd like to talk to you about making some changes. Change? We fear change. And then I proceed to squash the very idea of changing my life." This is an awkward scene in Wayne's World where Benjamin (Rob Lowe) approaches Garth (Dana Carvey) about making some changes to the show. Garth says he fears change then proceeds to smash an animatronic hand after it comes to life.

"More on this later because I just don't where I am going with this right now. But the ball is rolling my friends. I could very well be running from it holding a whip and a golden idol." This one should have been really easy. Anybody who doesn't associate a whip and a golden idol with Indiana Jones (and the opening scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark) has never seen a movie.

"I want to stay who I have always been. I want to live with no cares, no responsibilities. I want to be a kid. Be young and dumb. Be like I was in College. But I'm not. I'm a little older. I'm a little wiser. And I'm starting to grow hair in really weird places man. I feel like I'm turning into Sasquatch." As soon as I typed "I'm a little older" I knew that I had to follow it with the remaining parts of that quote from Wayne's World 2. 

"The World has changed around me. My family and friends have changed around me. I have not. I feel like I have been left behind, Kirk Cameron style. But they didn't leave me. I simply refused to follow them." Left Behind is a movie starring Mike Seaver of Growing Pains fame Kirk Cameron (who became a born-again Christian and is now an Evangelist on The Way of the Master) about The Rapture. All of the true believers in Jesus Christ were taken to heaven while some people were left behind on Earth to suffer. I've never seen the movie but I'm in love with the Rapture (Scott and Rapture sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G). 

"It (booze) tends to bring out the worst in me. But sometimes the worst can be my best. You're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down. You're the best around! Nothing's ever gonna keep you down!!" This one is also a two-for. Joe Esposito's anthem You're the Best Around is best known for playing during a sweet montage in The Karate Kid. But friends of mine might also remember it from a documentary that I'm in called Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong. Since I've seen that more times than I've seen the Karate Kid, I'm going to choose the latter film. Wax the fuck off Daniel-son.

June 27 - Here Comes the Boom and the Cloud of Doom

"I saw some kid all partied out and commented that I remember my first Summerfest. Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road." It took me 27 days to drop in a Dumb and Dumber reference. You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little slow. And I didn't even drop one of the better known quotes from the movie. Samsonite! I was way off. I knew it started with an S though. This movie is in my Top 10 for sure and Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels play Lloyd and Harry perfectly. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me! I just got robbed by a sweet little old lady on a motorized cart... and I didn't even see it coming! Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself! I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this. I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man. WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!

"And get off your phone. Stop your tweeting and instergramming. Enough with the Pinterest and Four Square check-ins. In my day Four Square was played with a kick ball on the playground. I don't understand these kids with their loud music and their Dan Fogleberg, Zima, hula hoops and pac-man video games. Don't you see? People today have attention spans that can only be measured in nanoseconds!" BASEketball may be my favorite comedy of all time. I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone are absolute geniuses and I wish that they would make more movies where they act instead of just doing the voices. I know they write and direct everything that they are involved with but Cannibal! The Musical, Orgazmo and BASEketball just aren't enough for me. C'mon Trey and Matt! We need you!

"Laugh about something so silly that you pee yourself a little bit. We've all done it. It's the coolest. Even Miles Davis does it. It's not the sickest thing you've ever heard." When I first saw Billy Madison I don't think I knew who Miles Davis was so I didn't really get the joke. Now that I know who Miles Davis is, I still don't really get the joke. Sure, that lady is pretty old but was Miles Davis really the coolest guy there was at that time? I don't think so. But after doing a quick read through his wikipedia page I'm starting to think that the old lady was right. Miles Davis sounded pretty damn cool. I don't know shit.

"C'MON! DO IT! DO IT NOW! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? C'MON!!" At the end of Predator, Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) yells at the Predator Monster to kill him. And to do it now! Come on! Get to the chopper! Just like Nicolas Cage, Arnold has to freak out and shout in every movie. And the audience loves it. Or maybe it's just me. 

June 28 - A Day in the Life

"So when it came time to pick a random day in my life since I joined Twitter on September 9, 2009 I did a fast scroll down through my tweets for 37 (37!?! In a row?) seconds and then ended up on December 1st, 2012. That was not an average day in my life." The number 37 will always make me think of Kevin Smith's Clerks. The number refers to how many guys Dante's girlfriend has performed fellatio on. But it wasn't in a row like the one customer asked. This thought makes Dante nauseous. I say to each their own. But the number 37 creeps up in all of his movies somewhere and will continue to creep up in my writings as well.

Wow. I knew that I referenced movies a lot but I didn't think it was this much. At least I come up with my own original material or else I would be just regurgitating stuff that I had heard. It's fun to quote movies and I often do it with my friends and cousins, but you also have to be able to stand on your own feet. As you've seen during this month I use these references to support my own ideas or add that little zing on the end. With a few exceptions they aren't the entire subject matter. I didn't expect you to get all of this. Who besides me would? But now you should at least know where I am coming from. And that my friends is a step on the Stairway to Hea... What? No Stairway? Denied? Now what movie is that from? Of course that is Wayne's World. But of course you knew that. Who would have thought that I would be quoting that movie? I mean, it's not like I dressed up like him for Halloween one year with Jenny as my Garth. Well my friends it is time for me to go. Good night and Party On!

 - pookon -

www.pookon.com
www.twitter.com/pookondotcom
www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman

The Write Month: June 28 - A Day in the Life

I've had a lot of days in my life. 11,741 to be exact. There have been some good ones and some bad ones. I can't possibly remember all of them but I think a lot of them were pretty average. That's all I'm shooting for in my life is to kind of even out and find a balance. You can never be too high or too low because it's impossible to live that way. Well, at least for me it is. I don't have enough energy to maintain a constant high nor do I have enough tears to to keep a constant low. So I like to meet back in the middle somewhere when all is said and done. When I look back at my life I hope that I did enough to make it all worth it but I really just have one test for that - was it better than Oscar the Grouch's? I mean, he does live in a fucking trash can and everyone on Sesame Street just treats him like shit every day. They call him names and never really attempt to help him out at all with some clothes or a hot bowl of soup. Sure, he's a little mean but we are supposed to help out those that are less fortunate than ourselves. Maybe it's not his fault that he ended up in a garbage can. Maybe he can't get a job because has a learning disability or he is a War Vet who is psychologically damaged beyond repair. Do they ever consider that before calling him a Grouch? Instead of calling him names help him out. And not just with a song about a letter. Teach him how to read instead. You're all about helping but you help out human kids. How about helping out your own kind? Ever think about that? What about your fellow Muppets? Oscar has it pretty rough so I'm going to use him as my barometer for comparison. I like to set the bar low.

The whole point of picking out a day in the life was to figure out what an average day in my life was like. I take pictures during special events and blog about certain topics but often miss out on the average day to day. That is why I have the Twitter. I'm constantly posting on there for mainly 2 reasons - to remind myself of moments in my life and to entertain. I think I accomplish both things on there. So when it came time to pick a random day in my life since I joined Twitter on September 9, 2009 I did a fast scroll down through my tweets for 37 (37!?! In a row?) seconds and then ended up on December 1st, 2012. That was not an average day in my life. I was in South Carolina visiting my brother and we ended up going to this random party and I was having a field day on Twitter describing my experience. That day was a real exception to the norm so I decided to scroll down for another 15 seconds. That brought me to September 13, 2012. While that also was not an average day in my life I decided to go with it because of how fun and random it was.

My uncle Gary called me earlier in the week and offered to take me to Green Bay this day to see the Packers take on the Chicago Bears. I've only been to like 4 Packers games in my life before this so it was a real treat. And then when I found out that (to me at least) it was all free and that I would get free eats, free booze and free transportation I was all in. If it's free, it's for me. This ended up being an incredible day and I took to my Twitter account (@pookondotcom) to tell the world exactly what I was thinking at the time. I like to document these kind of things or else it is just one giant blur. And sometimes, like today, I go back and revisit that day. And almost 10 months later these thoughts, things that I said or situations that I got wrapped up in are still making me laugh. I don't know if you find me to be entertaining but I'm having a ball with it. One thing I have always loved about me is my ability to keep myself amused. It's helped me cope well with my constant state of being alone. But enough of that. Here is what happened to me on September 12, 2012 as the Green Bay Packers faced off against the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field:

Hanging with Uncle Gary makes me realize that we live in two totally different worlds. #poor 3:57 PM - Sep 13, 2012

I don't think I could ever entertain clients or schmooze with potential business partners. I'm too weird and shy. #different 4:25 PM - Sep 13, 2012

I think on the inside I'm like a 9 year old child because I don't like talking to strangers. #NeverGrewUp 4:29 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

I was just "that guy" in the background of someone's photo. Yep, I'm that weird guy. #photobomb 4:42 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Had a myriad of drinks on the bus. Plenty of beer, mixed drinks and shots. It's gonna be a long night. 4:59 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Was just given a beer by a Chicago Bears fan. Huh. So it is true - we can coexist. It's good to be the Iceman. #perks #rage 5:25 PM - Sep 13, 2012

I grabbed 2 beers because I have 2 hands. #logic. Hell, its all free anyway. At least to me. I don't pay for shit! #poor 5:36 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

They are pouring Miller products into Anhauser-Busch cups. What the hell? Shouldn't there be some rule against that? #DontCrossTheStreams 5:54 PM -Sep 13, 2012

I wish I was about 10 years younger right now because I would have pounded about 10 more beers. #GettingOld 6:14 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Stopped by some bus and got some Captain and Coke from one of Uncle Gary's randoms. #LivingTheDream 6:53 PM - Sep 13, 2012

My first #Packers / #Bears game. This crowd is electric. Mayhem style. God damn I love Lambeau Field. #rage 8:00 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Uncle Gary: what was the song they played during halftime at the Packers superbowl? Me: I don't remember the superbowl. #truth #PassedOut 8:38 PM - Sep 13, 2012

I'm sitting near the #Packers' tunnel, and I do have to say that Clay Matthews looks beautiful in person. #aLittleGay 9:02 PM - Sep 13, 2012

I think I'm going to buy a BJ Raji jersey because he's big and so am I. Us big guys gotta stick together. #MakesSense #Packers 9:07 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Now that I moved out of my Mom's house and I'm paying rent, $8 per beer seems pretty steep. #poor 9:42 PM - Sep 13, 2012

Double fisting it right now just like my hero, the Two-Fisted Slobber. Reminds me of my childhood. #CountyStadium 9:50 PM - Sep 13, 2012

With the #Packers up by 20, not a single fan has left the stadium, even though it is a Thursday night. Hell of a town. #GreenBay 10:13 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

I stood up to join the crowd in a rousing rendition of "The Bears Still Suck." Suck it Illinois. #SconniePride 10:17 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

The last 3 #Packers games I've been to have been wins. I'd like to say I'm a lucky charm, but they really are just that good. 10:52 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

It takes forever to get out of the stadium area. Still, it's amazing that such a small town can have an NFL team. #GreenBayPackers 11:36 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

Now I'm triple-fisting drinks. It's like that 3-tittied bitch in #TotalRecall only not. I wish I had 3 hands. #Benny 11:56 PM - Sep 13, 2012
 

So I've come to the conclusion that all bus drivers are assholes. It's in the job requirement. You have to have road rage. #ImNotDriving 12:16 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

I've got a couple of Holiday Drunks behind me on the bus. I remember my first beer. #amateurs 12:22 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

Random girl: don't spill your drink on me. Me: oh, I wouldn't do that. I'm respectful drunk. #classy 12:40 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

This drunk chick is passed out on me. Sadly this is the most action I've gotten in a very long time. #pathetic 12:49 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

These chicks are telling me that I'm awesome and I would be a good boyfriend for their friend. They must be drunk. #classic 1:06 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

Girl: you'd be perfect for my friend Angie. Me: Angie? She sounds hot. #LowStandards #IllTakeAnything 1:18 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

Girl: I don't have any pockets. Me: then where do you keep your stuff? Girl: in my purse! Fuck pockets!! #classic 1:35 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

I'm driving home #topless not because I have to, but because I want to. Why would I have to do that? 1:51 AM - Sep 14, 2012
 

I'm so awesome. Can't believe I'm still single. Oh wait, yes I can. Because everything I put on Twitter is the truth. #TooHotToHandle 2:27 AM - Sep 14, 2012

The Green Bay Packers won the game by a score of 23-10. I drank a lot of beer and liquor and raged pretty hard for a Thursday. It was a really fun night and I had a good time with my Uncle Gary but looking back over these tweets I can't help but think that I had a better time on my own doing random goofy shit. That's cause I can't really be myself around too many people because no one really understands me. I don't really let that stop me and for the most part the weird looks don't bother me. But eventually my goal in life is to find someone to share in my random nonsense. Someone that gets me. Someone who will be a part of these adventures. Someone who will be there for every day in my life. For the ones that make it on my Twitter account and the ones that I don't share with the world. There have been many days in my life and I'm hoping that there will be many more. This was just one of those days where a lot of fun things happened. They aren't all like this. Over the past two years there haven't been a whole lot of happy days. But when I do toss aside the sadness for a bit I make up for it by going all out with the fun and excitement. Those are the best days. But in the end they are just another day in what should turn out to be one hell of a life.

 - pookon -
 

www.pookon.com

www.twitter.com/pookondotcom

www.facebook.com/MilwaukeeIceman